Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Post-Lottery

Lifestyle, Travels

If I ever have the great good luck to win some kind of lottery, I’d be faced with a serious choice.

Option 1: 

  • become a jet-setter and travel the globe, visiting unfamiliar places like Helsinki, Prague etc.:

 

  • go shooting in Britishland with Mr. Free Market,

  • sip long glasses of G&T on the balcony of my hotel room in Monte Carlo or in a beach house in the Seychelles:

…and generally spend the rest of my life in strange, exciting places.

Option 2:

Buy a large farm somewhere and live (and end) the rest of my life like Uncle Hub and Uncle Garth, snarling at the world and shooting at strangers from my porch:

And don’t tell me to embrace the healing power of “and”, because the two lifestyles are completely opposite and contrary, and my faltering old brain probably couldn’t handle the sudden shift back and forth.

People who know me well, like my Longtime Loyal Readers, will appreciate the attraction of both options to me.

News Roundup

Bad News

Brought to you by:

And in other news that leaves a bad taste in your mouth:

…


…maybe if you hadn’t invaded Ukraine…?


…hands up those who’d prefer to see Sweden and Finland in NATO instead of Turkey — hmmm… all of you, huh?


…the competition to see how many tampons someone can fit into their mouth will begin in 3…2…1…


…as I told the officer during the Girl Scout Incident Of 1989.


…there are so many reasons not to order a Diet Coke at any time, e.g. it tastes like shit, makes you thirstier and has as much effect on your weight as a Classic Coke — so its extra fizziness is just a bonus.

Great Moments In Medicine:


…or as we call it in Murka, a “Clinton Suicide”.


…thus proving that shit movies can be bad for your health.


…or, more succinctly:  Get Woke, Get Fucked.


…in order of importance:  dogs, chocolate, heat-sensitive explosive devices, soft plastic items, babies.

And in no-link INSIGNIFICA:

 

Finally:


…I report, you decide: 

  

And that, as they say in the Anglosphere, is the news.

Update / No Update

Gratuitous Chick Pics, Technology

As I have no good or indeed any news about the Comments / No Comments debacle, here are a couple pics of women showing off their respective superstructures.

Amanda Holden:

Kelly Brook:

Someone named Toni Garrn (no, I don’t know, either):

And Lana del Ray:

I hope this makes up for the lack of Commentary…

News Update

Bad News

Sponsored by:

And so after poor Marie’s fate, more bad news:


…then “NO PENIS NO VOTE”.  See how that works?


…like eating ham through the wrapper.


…fuck off, fascist.  Tell you when I and most gun owners might accept a set of federal gun laws:  when they are identical to those of Texas (including Castle Doctrine and others of that ilk), and as long as the poxy NFA is also repealed.

From the Dept. of Irony:


…or “because of”?  I get so confused…


…oh stop it, I just can’t deal with this bullshit anymore.


…in which we see the dangers of someone editing what you write (original headline in link).


…lessee, now:  hundreds of BLM rioters looting on that day, and she gets charged?  (Episode #1,343 of “guess the race”, with a twist).


…sheesh, and I thought $120 for a bottle of wine and two salads was expensive in Monaco.


…all part of that “culture sharing” thing in EUtopia.  Still on trains:


…Nostradamus Kim predicts an increase in crime on LA transit lines.

As for INSIGNIFICA:

   

And finally, a fond farewell:

Whoa… some actual news in there.  I’ll try to do better next time.