1. Cinemas ‘n’ fingering.

    Instant flashback to the 1970s.

    Broome in Western Australia.

    Sun Picture Theatre — world’s oldest still operating open-air theatre. Cramps, no circulation left in my hand — but by God I wasn’t stopping!!

  2. That last meme in the roster has triggered a recollection of my Worst. Date. Ever.

    Flirting with a snow bunny once upon a time. Called herself Cinnamon, and absolutely smoking hot (translation: way outta my league). Miraculously we wind up back at my place & things are going swimmingly. As it becomes apparent I’m going to close the deal, she asks if I have any ties. It was a bit of a non sequitur but I managed to reply in the affirmative. Long story grotesque: she wanted my ties used to tie her down, spread eagle & buck naked. At which point I would beat her with a wire coat hanger until she was bleeding. Because, she expalined, “blood can lubricate the passion.”

    As I was showing her the door she hissed at me: “Maybe someday you’ll GROW UP.”

    1. Compared to some requests I’ve had, that was quite a tame one — but then again, rock band, 1970s, etc.

  3. “Porn hurts children, because it gives them unrealistic expectations of how quickly a plumber will show up”

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