Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Roundup

Bad News

Brought to you by:

And we begin the Roundup on a parallel topic…


…more likely it’ll end breakfast through mass vomiting at the table.


…so:  no harm, no foul then.


…ummm I hate to break it to you, kids, but Barbie never had a ‘gina anyway.


…lose your own armed bodyguards first, fatso, and then we’ll talk. (no link because duh)


…as long as we raise the voting age back to 21 as well, seeing as kids can’t be trusted to be responsible.  (no link because ditto)

From the Dept. of Irony:


…so much for that DIY book.

From the Dept. Of Useless Police:


…and even though he lives on the same street as she does, the cops will do nothing.


…kinda like getting marriage counseling from a Catholic priest, innit?

From the Dept. Of Suckage:


…and yet, Bette Midler is still alive.


…“Who the fuck are you?” was clearly not the pillow talk she expected.

And in blessedly link-free INSIGNIFICA:

       

And finally:  because it’s a short work week, I thought I’d celebrate with a few random pieces of smut lying around the place.  Call it a spring clean.

Thank gawd it’s Tuesday.

News Roundup

Bad News

Brought to you by:


…hope it hurts the woke bastards, with their unisex changing rooms and their “diversity”-loving store displays.

Dept. Of Unsurprising Consequences:


…or, put another way:  Homo Fest Causes Pox Outbreak.  Of course, some people are going to have a problem with that.


…key words:  Newark Airport, New Jersey.


…sod off, Swampy.


…ask me again why I was always packing when I did the Uber thing… but key word: Manchester.


…I’m just mortified that we weren’t the first to do so.


…in which we welcome the latest entrant to the conservatives’ “You Have One Bullet” game, where he joins such luminaries as George Soros, Hillary Clinton and Bill Gates.


…wrong Markle.


…sheesh, when even old, fat, White homos are at risk…


…key words:  San Francisco.

And in the INSIGNIFICA (what one Reader has dubbed the “Who gives a fuck?” ) section:


…i.e. the struggle that women have somehow managed to handle quite well for over ten thousand years.


…

And finally:


…spoiler:  they’re all-natural.

Not just that:  Paige also picked the eventual winner Justin Thomas to win the 2022 PGA Championship.

And that’s all the news worth looking at.

Only One?

Funny Stuff

(Note: this whole post was “triggered” by this article)

The open secret among us conservatives is the “one bullet” game in which you are asked, “If you had one shot you could take at someone, with a free pass, who would get the bullet?”

This causes a great deal of reflection among the more thoughtful of us, with much wailing and cursing because the Left offers us, shall we say, an absolute cornucopia of choices.  (And I sympathize:  I myself would need at least a case of 7.62x39mm to lance the various boils on our national and international polity.)

The choice is a tough one, especially where one is presented with a local option — e.g. one of the Soros prosecutors like that asshole in L.A. — or a national one, like Hillary Clinton, or even an international one like the aforementioned Soros, or Bill Gates.  Each of the three categories has much to recommend it, of course, but I would argue against the local option because it’s far too easy for the Left to find a similar, or even worse replacement.

No;  the way forward is a national or international target, provided that the international one is spreading his or her malignity into our own United States (which would exclude the perpetually-horrible Tony Blair, for instance, but make George Soros a front-runner).

Forgive me for being a tad parochial on that point, but given the disproportionate effect that our nation has on the world in general, I think it’s a defensible position.

And I’m not going to play this game here today — it’s far better played in person among friends and fellow conservatives, where spirited arguments can rage (and have done so, I suspect) in favor of each person’s nomination.  And please take note:  I’d rather that nobody played the game in my Comments section too, but I’m not in the business of telling people what they can and can’t write.

I should also point out that among conservatives, “One Bullet” is pretty much a game (albeit, perhaps, in questionable taste).  For the Left, however, the Enemy Elimination List is almost certainly lying in some DHS / FBI bureaucrat’s drawer somewhere, awaiting implementation.

Oops

Religion

The story of the film so far:  you’re the 65-year-old pastor of a Christian congregation, and one day you decide to admit to everyone that a couple of decades back, you were a very bad boy and had an extramarital affair.  All the congregation rises, and you get a standing ovation for your honesty, humility and courage, etc. etc. amen.

Then this happens:

The woman with whom he had conducted the affair ascended the stage, saying the pastor had slept with her when he was 38 and she was 16.

Whoa.  It takes a lot to make my jaw drop nowadays, but this one did.

RFI:  is there a statute of limitations on statutory rape?