Category: Bad News

So let’s start with womyns…

...I prefer the Roger Sterling take:

...thus showing more commonsense than the average politician blaming the guns.

...because they’re idiots.  See next item:

...I think all PETA members should be forced to house the rats in their own homes.

From the Lawn Awder Files:

...busy little boy, huh?

...and:

...ah yes, “teens”.  Shorter, and easier to spell than “gangs of Black hooligans”.

And speaking of Black hooligans, Over There this time:

...first, they came for the guns.  Then, the machetes.  And then:

...and after this… screwdrivers?  hammers?  potato peelers?

...that “gender equity” thing is a bitch, innit?

In “World” News:

...okay;  how about “enemy”?

From Dept. of Global Cooling Climate Warming Change:

...what?  Solar power not working for Finland, then?  And:

...that’s page 272 in  Das Kapital.

...”give”?  Fuck off, Fattie.  If your fat ass overflows, buy your fat ass its own seat.

...annnnnnd:

And for more INSIGNIFICA:

   

...you could start by minding your own fucking business [sic].
And speaking of sexual activity:

...I know, I know:

...and a few more:

Hey… summer’s coming, right?

So now that we’re suitably anesthetized, let’s chew on the news:

...[snork] you had me at “roads scholar”.  And speaking of bright sparks:

...we need new planners, methinks.  After we’ve made the existing ones disappear.

...or maybe all we need is the modern equivalent of the old “pump jockeys” (loud sound alert):

...and to all the people who thought this awful little trannie would ever see a jail cell, I have a NY bridge for sale.

...that would be scary, except that the Biden Administration is already halfway there — and they did it with stupidity.

...lock up your sons.

...and in the good old days, this little snowflake would have been hanged for lèse-majesté.  I miss those days SO much.

...we already knew that, assholes.  No doubt this was funded with taxpayer money.

…and my solution:

And in INSIGNIFICA:

  ...no pics because sheesh.

...okay, this is going to be good.

Because:

Have mercy (x2).

Today’s sponsor:

And in other health news:

…

...we know, dude — ’cause most of them seem to have ended up in Texas.

...like tossing a pebble into mud:  one small plop, no ripples, silence.

...there seems to be a lot of this going on, and it’s about time.

...it’s almost enough to make me want to go back to shopping at Target… nah, not yet.

...I like this, if only because now they won’t be able to slip in a verse from the Koran, either.

...living down to all my expectations of him.

...welcome to MY world.  Fuck Joe Biden.

And from INSIGNIFICA:

...no doubt she’s all embarrassed about her wrinkles and dried-up old mimsy flaps.

  ...hook up with these guys, sweetie: …that’ll show him.

...I actually tried this, as a service to my Readers.  And it tastes as bad as you think it would.

Finally, in Paige Three News:

...I’d share the link and pics, but I refuse to be responsible for all those exploding erections.

Oh, what the hell…

And that’s it, for the news.

Brought to you by the makers of:

And in other sickening news:

...to make sure their investment is still bearing fruit, no doubt.

...the perfect response would have ChatGPT write the libel brief.

...keyword:  South Africa.  Also:

...because Australia, of course.

...man deserves an Oscar, not to mention danger pay.

...git ‘er done, guys.

...just another “hold our beer” moment.

…

...ordinary ol’ crabs not good enough.

...and about time.  Also:  whack that fucking Soros prosecutor while you’re about it.

...oh, be my guest inside that link.

In the INSIGNIFICA:
       

And in the Paige Three Department:

Yeah, I know, I know:  some Spanish guy won the tournament.  Damn furriners come to our country, win our golf tournaments, steal our blond Murkin wimmens…

Well done, amigo.  On all counts.

And so much for the news.

Brought to you by:

And in other breathtaking news:

...which would have been doubleplusungood, had they actually done that (unlike what the lying headline insinuates).

...and not even one of those scawwy Cold Steel Assault Hatchets, either.

...keyword: Australia [duh]

...keyword: Austr- …wait: Minnesota?

...and in other Hollywood producer news...

...a common fear among those with no actual talent.

…

...them Pennsylvania farmboys take “Yo’ Mama” insults badly.

...and it’s called “shagging”.  Where would we be without scientists?

...taking no chances.  Still trying to find the problem here, though...

...one’s only for hubby, and other is for her porn partners.  I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.

And the INSIGNIFICA for the day:

    …and again: 

Finally, in Celebrity News:

…and our Reader Quiz:  Jennifer Aniston — one-night-stand OR long weekend?

 

Your responses in Comments.

Brought to you by:

And other things that leave a bad taste in your mouth:

…has anyone seen the cost of guns recently?  It can’t get any harder.

...in other words, an “Influencer” award.  Everybody get excited.

From the Dept. of Global Warming Climate Cooling Change:

...time is always “running out”… and then it doesn’t.  All these fucking fearmongers need to be thrown into a deep pit and buried so we don’t have to put up with their wailing anymore.

...frankly, I’m ready for ALL the millennial obsessions to be over.  See next item:

...winner of the “Millennial Headline Of The Year” award.  And:

...“ditching booze”… ugh, what a revolting thought.

...oh, the perils of your language having a tiny vocabulary. [/France]

In XXX News:

...my question:  who would be a “fan” of a porno actress?

...just the latest in oh-so many, Mike.

...uh, let’s classify this as a First World problem, shall we?

And in INSIGNIFICA:

 

...and the answer is… in the link.

And finally, in Sports News:

And without her fan costume, so to speak:

And if there’s any more news, I don’t wanna know about it.