Category: Bad News

Like many people, I don’t watch Presidential State Of The Union speeches (of either party), because I only have so many TVs in the house and so many bullets to shoot at them.

Seriously, I don’t like hearing from Government, in detail, of how they’re planning to fuck me over the next year.

So I generally read VodkaPundit’s live drunkblog of the whole thing because a. I like Stephen and b. it’s way funnier than what’s actually being said  (e.g. during a George W. SOTU, “I do believe the President’s pants just caught fire”).

However, last night Steve went beyond the pale with this comment:

“Liz Warren just spontaneously orgasmed when Biden said he’d raise taxes.”

Clearly, our esteemed commentator forgot the Iron Rule, i.e. that “Elisabeth Warren” and “orgasm” should never be put in the same sentence.  The mental image is just too ghastly for a civilized man to deal with.

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And on we go:

…ah yes, another argument for letting computers run everything.

…although they’ve probably kept back enough to be used against their own citizens, the fascist fuckers.

…let’s just see what happens if Gummint tries tries to push this shit on us again.

…some filthy sexist probably asked why all their rape victims are women.

…

…can’t win, so why bother? [snigger]

…should have just called the toilet “undersized” instead.

…key word:  California.

…oh, just fuck off and peddle your fake panic somewhere else.  We have bigger things to worry about, e.g. this:

…oy, here we go again…

And still on that silly topic:  INSIGNIFICA!!!

 

…as Our Britney gets both a dick stick from her latest boyfriend, and a head of steam [sic]  going for a Train Smash.

Finally, here’s something newsworthy:  ITV newsreader Lucrezia Millarini.

Quite delectable.

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And guaranteed to make you do just that is this little snippet:

…and these little shits should all be taken out and “shot” in the back of the head.

…you mean, other than the fact that it’s in New York?  And speaking of which:

…too bad you didn’t see this coming two years ago, assholes.

…LOL they’ve finally figured out that KiwiPM Lesbo One is evil?

…here we go again:

   

Lesh get back to da nooj, shall we?

…I should damn well hope so.

…key word:  Australia.  Follow link at own risk.

…

…good.  Can we start sending them there now?

…the Democrats that you voted for, that is.

And heeeeeere’s INSIGNIFICA:

 

…wait:  people can’t pronounce S-L-U-T?  Still, I suppose this is as good an excuse as any:

 

Still a Train Smash Woman, bless her little ginger heart…

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And speaking of assholes and Manhattan:

…oh no no no, you guys have to live with the consequences of your foolishness until the next Republican president gets to the White House.

…shoulda told those liberal Connecticut asswipes to go pound sand.  And in a not-entirely-unrelated item:

…because of course they do.

…I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or just punch this demented bitch in the face.

…good thing my kids are grown, because if anyone called the cops on me for that, I’d tell them and the cops to MYOFB, or get somewhat more than a “smack” from me.  Fucking busybodies.

…ah jeez. another “mental health” in a headline.  At this rate, I’m going to have to start ordering gin deliveries by the case.

…man, he must have fucked up badly.

…until los federales start harassing your peaceful protest;  then shut ’em off and let them die.

From the Department of Total Suckage:

…one of the best rock vocalists of all time.

Oh look:  the Greens are coming back!

…let’s not forget all those mid-19th century SUV stagecoaches.  And right on cue:

…get lost, Fuckface.

And in the Heart Of Stone Department:

…cue tiny violins.  And:

…I’m sorry, but I can’t stop laughing at this one — a blind guy wandering around a car park?  As Larry the Cable Guy says, “That’s some funny shit right there”.  And imagine if the second unfortunate soul had senile dementia?  But in the meantime:

And now is time for INSIGNIFICA:

 

…and the proof:

…because if Paris is doing it, it’s the new trend.

Try to contain yer excitement.  Because coming to a WalMart near you:

Today’s Roundup is brought to you by:

…and puke-worthy it is, too:

…OF COURSE he did.

…entitled:  “How My Mommy And Daddy Killed A Very Bad Man In A Faraway Country.”

…yes, yes you are, Don.

…key word:  Louisiana.

…as their Ceaușescu Moment draws ever nearer.

…I am curiously conflicted about this story.

…“mental health” in the headline — oy, here we go with another gin shot.

…[opens a new bottle of gin]

…200 insurance brokers in mass suicide “event”.

…sounds like my apartment maintenance people.

…what about all those poor displaced city drivers?  Does anyone care about them?

From the annals of COVIDIOCY:

…as long as there’s a ball gag underneath the mask, I’m cool with it.  And:

…for a show that nobody’s going to watch on TV anyway.  And when you see who the “presenters” are, you’re going to want to insist on masks for them, too.

As for INSIGNIFICA:

     

…LOL he’d have to marry some trollop American actress first, so he could get a residence visa.  But on a more serious note:  what have we done to piss the Brits off so badly?

…probably should quit going to those kinds of parties, darlin’.

I know;  y’all want to know who this Emily Atack is and why someone would want to send her dick pics, right?

 

Now you know.