News Roundup

Today’s Roundup is brought to you by:

…and puke-worthy it is, too:

OF COURSE he did.

entitled:  “How My Mommy And Daddy Killed A Very Bad Man In A Faraway Country.”

yes, yes you are, Don.

key word:  Louisiana.

as their Ceaușescu Moment draws ever nearer.

I am curiously conflicted about this story.

“mental health” in the headline — oy, here we go with another gin shot.

[opens a new bottle of gin]

200 insurance brokers in mass suicide “event”.

sounds like my apartment maintenance people.

what about all those poor displaced city drivers?  Does anyone care about them?

From the annals of COVIDIOCY:

as long as there’s a ball gag underneath the mask, I’m cool with it.  And:

for a show that nobody’s going to watch on TV anywayAnd when you see who the “presenters” are, you’re going to want to insist on masks for them, too.



LOL he’d have to marry some trollop American actress first, so he could get a residence visa.  But on a more serious note:  what have we done to piss the Brits off so badly?

probably should quit going to those kinds of parties, darlin’.

I know;  y’all want to know who this Emily Atack is and why someone would want to send her dick pics, right?


Now you know.


  1. “US Bound Ship Carrying 1100 Porsches, 189 Bentleys Ablaze in Atlantic”

    Okay, who let the Ferrari on board?

    1. No Ferrari required: Many of the vehicles were of the “e” variety.
      The fire will have to burn itself out, or they’ll have to scuttle the ship, to be extinguished.

  2. What, no paragraph about how that shithole Baltimore garage morgue story was as a result of the overflowed morgues and hospitals dealing with COVID OMG! patient corpses?

    Me, I’m still waiting for the Covid zombie hordes, the Covid dead bodies lying in the gutter where packs of wild dogs gnaw on them, and the free fire zones.

    Remember kids, infected = dead.
    (slaps forhead)
    Oh. that’s right, we don’t need that crisis now, we need a crisis that allows us to pretend we can unite the country over Bidenbank Ukraine so we can send American gear to be captured and American kids to die in a place we can’t even find on a 5×5′ map where it’s marked in red and is the only country on the map because we need to all get behind President Brandon (remembers to inhale).

    Even more importantly, they need a new excuse to start rounding people up as Russian spies and terrorists when we dare to complain about it.

    Why is it after some 40 odd years of wondering if today was the day we would slag each other in MAD I’m a little less than spooked by a(nother) Russian war in Ukraine that will be officially over by sunset on the day it starts, without resorting to (sic)thermosnukular weapons.

  3. Morgues:
    MN will make you a great deal on a refrigerated warehouse the Gov. bought two years ago to serve as a morgue for the Covid dead……and never sent a body to it as their morgues never did become “overwhelmed”.

  4. I’m hoping that no one takes fussing geriatrics like Behar seriously anyway. Well anyone not part of whatever network she’s on.

    As for Ms Atack. A bit on the pudgy side but that just adds to thw character. I know, I’m a perv.

  5. 1100 Porsches destroyed? At that pace they’ll catch Richard Hammond in no time. That’s a lot of mid-life crisis put on hold.

  6. “Wanda Sykes, Amy Schumer, and Regina Hall will be this year’s hosts. Together, they have smeared Trump voters as racists, demanded the rollback of voter identification requirements, and joined forces with Michelle Obama to push vote by mail,” Breitbart News noted.

    They could have said Winken, Blinken and Nod and had more name recognition. I’ve never heard of them and assume they earned their place by being black/trans/lesbian or all three, the three bitches with more anti-Trump words on record, neuroses too numerous to name, a foul mouth, and bigger chips on their shoulders than there are Oscars to give out, even in that self-congratulatory crowd.

    Now, we have a pod of whales (siddown Rosie, we’re not talking about you), a gaggle of geese, a bloat of hippos (siddown Rosie, we’re still not talking about you) a murder of crows, etc., so what shall we call a venue full of preening Oscar attendees?
    An amalgamation of assholes, a party of pricks, a conflagration of queens, a cowardice of creeps, a prepuce of preeners or maybe a dongle of dickheads?

    Call the Oscar show and cast your vote. I went with all of the above.

    The last time I was in Japan was ’93, and even then there seemed to be a Japanese fondness for using English words in slogans or as brand names, but apparently the users weren’t even up to English As A Second Language competency, more like a third language overheard in a movie.
    I had many laughs looking at the stuff for sale in the ubiquitous street vending machines, and I still have three samples in 12 oz. cans I brought home:
    AIR – don’t know how long you can breathe off a 12 oz. can, but you needed all the help you could get in the Tokyo smog.
    POCARI SWEAT – allegedly an electrolyte drink, but it conjures images of a bunch of guys harvesting the product by slicking sweat off some hamster-like animals running endlessly in squirrel cages.
    annddd….. wait for it, the ultimate thirst quencher on a hot summer’s day – CALPIS SODA! No lie, not a novelty, there was a whole vending machine full of it!

Comments are closed.