Category: Bad News

For once, we lead with some good news:

…keep ’em coming, guys.

But then we suffer a relapse:

…to paraphrase Insty:  “Climate change:  is there anything it can’t do?”

And:

…this could possibly explain pre-SUV-era Glueball Wormening.

…see next item for an example.

…under the topic, “Bananas:  they’re not just for eating anymore.”

…Monty Python’s Flying Circus to get the same treatment in 5…4…3…2…1...

And speaking of humorless assholes:

…and all because of “innocent vegetables”.  But this next vegan episode will make you howl:

…but wait!  There’s more! (see link)

…wait:  California has an actual budget?  (no link because National Review)

From the Dept. of Covidiocy:
   

…in case you missed it, that’s FrogPres Toyboy Macron.  And from OzReich:

…they’ll find another pretext to boot him out before the tournament starts, never fear.

Britney Train Smash Update:

…leading to the question:  are the FBI ever going to classify these assholes as a terrorist organization?  (It’s a rhetorical question, of course.)

And where would we be without INSIGNIFICA?

   

…none of those problems ever stopped the eternal quest for nookie before, so this new warning probably isn’t going to work either.

Talking about nookie:

Carol Vorderman’s getting out of control:

…nothing wrong with the superstructure:

but that ass is gaining on Lizzo’s…

With commentary so acidic, you need an alkali chaser after reading it.

…if we pay the Russkis a few grand each for their trouble, can we send them our child molesters too?

…never mind that sill old Constit… Consist… you know, the thing.

…now that’s a Jan 6 insurrection, Lefties.  Somehow, our guys missed beheadings.

…because a month without booze is like sending a eunuch to an orgy:  a pointless gesture.

…well, if they’re all like Elizabeth Warren and AOC, hardly surprising.

…and CTRL-F shows no mention of Chinese cities in the article.  Strange…

…and your company is just the one to sell us that vaccine, right?

…those nasty old German Nazis having been so much in favor of an armed citizenry, of course.

And now, for the first time, the 2022 Train Smash Chronicles:

…leading to:

…getting warmer:

…let the Train Smash begin !!!!!!

From the Dept. Of Covidiocy:

   

And ’tis now time for INSIGNIFICA:

 
…see the above “eunuch at an orgy” comment re: alcohol-free gin.

…technically speaking, all ejaculations are premature, as my old friend Patterson used to say.

And speaking of “penis pads”, here’s Reader favorite Rhian Sugden:

No more need be said.

What the hell, let’s get back to pulling the damn wagon…

Now get out there and write better English in your memo to HR giving the precise reasons why they should fuck right off.

So far, 2022 is shaping up pretty much as expected.

…so now telling the truth is a jailable offense?  And then we have this:

…and everyone wonders where that came from…

…can you say, “fix!”, children?  I knew you could.

…seeing as it can resurrect aging, broken-down male body parts, this should come as no surprise.

…not counting the gun transactions sans background checks, of which I know personally quite a few hem hem.

…this isn’t shocking;  what would be shocking is the number of people who think that violence against the government is never justified.

…not mentioned:  how long she has to sleep afterwards to recover her strength.

…key word:  Australia.

And now a new feature:  Dept. of Covidiocy (with no links because reasons).

 

…and one with a link:

…LOL.  Rules, meet money.  Oh, wait…

Time for INSIGNIFICA:

   
…oh, where would we be without !SCIENCE! ?

And speaking of “shaping up”, here (courtesy of Reader AndrewR), is Stephanie Ferraro from Strylia:

Good grief, but that’s a lotta woman right there.  Yummy.