Groucho’s Moustache

It’s all Phil Collins’s fault.

Perhaps I should explain myself.

Phil has a daughter named Lily who is a fashion model, and an extraordinarily beautiful girl she is, too:

However, she is distinguishable from most other girls by her signature feature, those thick, glossy eyebrows. And if there’s one thing we know about the fashion business, it’s that they slavishly copy anything that could be called “trendy” or “in” or whatever term they use to justify lemming behavior.

Yesterday I was riding on London’s Tube system, and across from me were sitting two girls of exquisite beauty — had they not been fuller-figured than the norm [2,000-word rant on the Anorexia Look deleted], I would have thought they were models. (I’d like to show a pic, but nowadays if you take an unsolicited photo of a woman, the next thing that happens will be you finding yourself spreadeagled on the ground while protesting to an unsympathetic audience of the fuzz that you’re not a stalker.)

However, both said beautiful Tube girls were (in my mind anyway) disfigured by having painted their eyebrows thicker — grotesquely so, like this:

…and in so doing, they’d transformed themselves into caricatures of Greek peasant women.

And forgive me, but the Greek peasant woman look doesn’t go well with blonde hair.

I would suggest that younger women take a pass on this particular trend, no matter how many fashion mags suggest that the simian look is the latest hot thing. What looks natural on Lily Collins looks freakish on everybody else — because no matter how good you think you look, all we see is that you’ve done a Groucho on your eyebrows (and hence the title of this post):

Of course, nobody’s going to listen to me. I just hope Phil Collins is satisfied.


  1. “…nowadays if you take an unsolicited photo of a woman, the next thing that happens will be you finding yourself spreadeagled on the ground…”

    Minox used to make a 90 degree mirror attachment for their cameras for just that sort of thing. I’m surprised nobody makes a modern version.

  2. I feel cheated out. I didn’t know that Phil Collins had a daughter that was this beautiful. And back when I was playing music out for part of my living, we played some of his better stuff. I could have found her, but didn’t know she existed. Damn. She is an amazing brunette. But you are quite correct, eyebrows like that simply don’t work on a lighter skinned woman. It takes a smart and strong woman to know how to use her features to the best way possible. Sometimes, her handlers can help, but most of the time, it is up to her to stand strong and be true to her self. Thank you for finding this lovely woman. I am old enough to not be the kind to use such women as fuel to my night time fantasies, but I certainly am not so old as to not look for her pictures on occasion. Good music is not the only thing to come out of Phil Collins, obviously.

  3. Hint to young women: Study photos of stars from the 1940-1970 timeframe, especially the 1940-60 period. They had this sort of thing down to a finely tuned science. As KdT used to point out, quite frequently.

Comments are closed.