Humor – Page 180 – Splendid Isolation

Another Added To The List

August 3, 2022 Kim du Toit Freaks & Loonies, Nannies, Politics

There is no limit to the micro-managing that a Blue state can descend to:

The bill — Creating a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair — prohibits discrimination based on natural and protective hairstyles, including braids, locks, twists and Bantu knots. It also blocks Bay Staters from being denied employment or educational opportunities due to their hairstyles and textures.
Gov. Baker described the nexus of the CROWN Act as a “citizen movement,” started by a “very small number of people in which the right thing to do became clearer and clearer the longer the discussion went on.”

And while we’re there, some old-fashioned ones:

And of course, my old favorite style chart:

News Roundup

August 3, 2022 Kim du Toit Bad News

Brought to you by:

Let’s jump right in.

…I can only hope that the cure was found in dolphin livers.

…I like the new euphemism for “rape”: “struggle snuggle”.

…and goodbye to reliable electricity.

…that’s gonna be a very short series.

…whatever.

…why the question?

…other than Barry Sanders, I didn’t know they had any.

…as long as it’s the top half…

…sounds like the Murkin socialists at the prospect of a Republican tidal wave.

…hey, Numb-Nuts: “Kill It With Fire!” is what’s known as “hyperbole”.

…like anyone cares what a delivery boy thinks.

And finally:

…not bad for an old auntie, is she?

Feel free to disagree, of course, as the Roundup comes [sic] to a close.

Job Wanted

August 2, 2022 Kim du Toit Politics

I’m going to apply for the job of Kamala Harris’s speechwriter.

I mean, how difficult can it be? You take a random word generator, extract enough words to make a 5-minute speech, and take out a few of the egregious non-sequiturs (or not — who would notice?), then type it into the teleprompter.

Three minutes; job done. Repeat as necessary. Earn big bucks.

And how much worse could the outcome possibly be? Nobody takes any notice of what the incompetent bitch says anyway.

True, going on the past rotations, the job would only last about four months, tops, but in the meantime, a hundred grand or more would nestle in Ye Olde Treasure Chestte.

Where do I apply?

Missed It By THIS Much

August 2, 2022 Kim du Toit Gratuitous Chick Pics, Gratuitous Gun Pics, Resistance

Apparently, yesterday was International Orgasm Day or something equally stupid.

Needless to say, I missed it, just as I’ve missed so many of its namesakes.

Nowadays, of course, I’m more likely to have a Supreme Moment by looking at pictures of things like this:

…or this:

…rather than this:

In truth, though, what would really get the old juices running would be… ummmm… how can I put this delicately, or in a manner which wouldn’t cause the fuzz to show up at my door…

A deep pit full of dead Socialists?

Something like that.

News Roundup

August 1, 2022 Kim du Toit Bad News

(no sponsor this week, so I’ll just invent one:)

I wish. Anyway, let’s fire away [sic] :

…a.k.a. Why Kim Left South Africa.

…ummmm… feeling a little conflicted here, Boss.

…wait, you ate street food in Bangladesh? LOLZ

And speaking of inedible food:

…excellent news because on the whole, Hershey makes the world’s worst-tasting chocolate.

From the Dept. of Unwelcome Settlers:

…welcome to our world, compadres. Every single thing you don’t like about them, we don’t like either.
(Signed) Texas, Arizona, Florida, Utah, Idaho, Colorado and a couple others.

…and then the screws locked down the women’s block. I report, you decide.

…no. Nice try. But if we’re going to go down that road, first let’s ban you fuckers from using private jets: fly commercial. And sell off your exotic car collections, while you’re there.