Job Wanted

I’m going to apply for the job of Kamala Harris’s speechwriter.

I mean, how difficult can it be?  You take a random word generator, extract enough words to make a 5-minute speech, and take out a few of the egregious non-sequiturs (or not — who would notice?), then type it into the teleprompter.

Three minutes; job done.  Repeat as necessary.  Earn big bucks.

And how much worse could the outcome possibly be?  Nobody takes any notice of what the incompetent bitch says anyway.

True, going on the past rotations, the job would only last about four months, tops, but in the meantime, a hundred grand or more would nestle in Ye Olde Treasure Chestte.

Where do I apply?


  1. The problem is, you may have to interact with her on a regular basis. That sounds like a really unpleasant experience.

  2. Kamala speech: Hello all you find people and some deplorables, today I will not share a blow by blow account of my ascension into the ozone of political pubic cervix and how the aquatic resonance of future energies avoid conflicting spherical obstructions varying variable decisions versus bifurcated intentional objectification of genderless wandering semi-automatic preferred carbon based marsupials and vaginated adipose featured lactose tissue interspersed people with special nocturnals while they motivate through roadsides in the nautical twilight of incredible igneous natural nature of anal decision ponderous preferred proposals inverted by destructive intentional reflective dioxide flagellated flatulence of observable patellas in repose response reflective reaction reflections of the aromatic amorous path to optimized positions of powerful inertia of classless legalistic creative cretaceous cretinism as it propelled your speaker to the ponderous wondrous position I currently find myself having once in bygone days taken a knee, in fact both knees and that is how things are wont.

    1. Needs more useless buzzwords and mention things like unity and togetherness to achieve the achievements that we have achieved today


  3. She can’t even speak at high school level……..Well, what the level was back in our day, but now that’s honors stuff.
    Just as Biteme was impeachment insurance for Uhbama, Kneepads Harris is insurance for Biteme.

    It appears she studied speech and English composition at the same school as Al Sharpton:

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