Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Roundup

Bad News

Might as well end the year with a whimper…


…not as strange as some of the other stuff he’s supposed to be in charge of, sweetie.


…killing your sister because you don’t agree with her way of life is a cultural thing, you see, so they won’t be charged.


…another cultural custom, of course.

From the Heart Of Stone Department:


…if this was California or New York, those three deaths would be entered as “Death Caused By Covid”.


…I don’t think Mr. Wretched has had breakfast at Cracker Barrel for quite a while.


…I’d be really curious to see how what percentage of those women are married.


…I see that the rodent was “humanely trapped” and handed over to the SPCA.  Lucky squirrel;  in any American town not in California, he’d have been shot dead in less than ten minutes after the first bite — along with a few dozen others, just to be sure.


…the offender being Irish, I’m amazed that this even made the news.

And now it’s time for the last INSIGNIFICA of 2021:

     
…Fauci who?

Finally:


…I know, I know… you want to see proof.

I dunno about “perfect”, but they sure as hell ain’t too bad.

And now the Bad News Department will be signing off till next year…

Addendum

Awards

I knew I should have waited a bit before posting my Best In 2021.  Still, better late than never.

Best Obituary:  Battleswarm

“Leaving a trail of slime behind him –”
Start over.
“A repugnant, repulsive reptile –”
Try again.
“What can be said about him that hasn’t already been said about bubonic plague?”
Strike that.

Man, I’m really having trouble staying on the high road for this Harry Reid obit.

I went back and added it to the Awards post.  Oceania has always… etc.  [/1984]

Un-P.C. Awards: 2021

Awards

Here we are for the inaugural Un-P.C. Awards ceremony.  Unlike all the other awards ceremonies, this one isn’t fixed (Oscars, F1, coff, coff ) in that all decisions are made by one man, i.e. Yer Humble (and Unbribable) Narrator and chief supervisor of Kim’s Beer & Treason Brigade.

So here are the winners (no podium finishers for reasons of space / patience, but a couple could actually be lifetime award winners).

Best Internet Boobs Photo:   Salma Hayek

Best International Tits:   Carol Vorderman

Best Socialist Tits:   AOC

Best Photoshop of Socialist Tits:

World’s Best Wingman:   Ghislaine Maxwell

Best Prospect For “Suicide” Before Month’s End:  see above.

Best New Word (for me):  Chesticles

Okay, enough boobs.  Other awards:

Most Likely To Have a Train Smash In 2022:   Britney Spears

Best 2022 Train Smash Prospect (Youth Division):   Maisie Smith (19)

Most Unlikely Hero of 2021:  J.K. Rowling

Toughest Old Broad:   Queen Elizabeth II

Most Boring Couple:  The Ginger Whinger and Duchess CaringSlut

Best Obituary:  Battleswarm

“Leaving a trail of slime behind him –”
Start over.
“A repugnant, repulsive reptile –”
Try again.
“What can be said about him that hasn’t already been said about bubonic plague?”
Strike that.
Man, I’m really having trouble staying on the high road for this Harry Reid obit.

Top 10 Songs Of 2021 (apparently;  I’ve never heard any of them)

Best New Song I Did  Listen To In 2021:   Eye of the Storm (Battle Beast)

Congressional Hero:   Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV)

Best New Handgun:   Springfield SA-35

(I know, shuddup, my list)

Best New Rifle:   CZ 600

(link in pic)

Best Headline:

Biggest Anticlimax:  Omicron, Grandson of WuFlu

Best Righteous Shooting:  Kyle Rittenhouse

Best New Car / Truck / SUV etc. (from this list):  None

And finally, with apologies:

Favorite Personal Post of 2021:  Seeking Better Times

Favorite Political Post of 2021 (tie):  Just One  and  Out Of Touch

News Roundup

Bad News

End-ish-of-year news, more or less the same as any other time.


…I tried to download the file, but it didn’t fit onto my 7GB thumb drive.


…or not.


…bringing all their shitty voting habits with them, no doubt.


…and well done, you.  It’s about damn time.


…you have to be a really special kind of asshole to do this.


…one would think they’d have started doing this long ago, but whatever.


…“I wuz carryin’ them for a fren’!”


…oh by all means, let’s talk about why more kids are being shot dead in Chicago.

And on that topic, this was seen at an anti-vax mandate protest in Los Angeles:


…just as long as you remember that sentiment when we start talking about guns, okay?


…beyond satire, or even comment.  I suppose “Gimpy The Retard” would satisfy them?


…and yet you took the gig, didn’t you?


…and failed miserably, as always, you scabby tart.

And now ’tis the season for INSIGNIFICA:

      …but WAIT!  there’s

BREAKING NEWS!

Liz Hurley has an owie: