And sent by John C (who is a BAD man)…
Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
News Roundup
Let’s start off with a little news about Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©:
...keyword: Australia.
...so we ban people, then? Or wait: if we can reduce Glueball Wormening by a little judicious population pruning, I gotta list.
...and the loss in oil-related revenues will be made up from…?
From the Great Cultural Assimilation Project comes this:
…
…ummm if yer gonna slag off Jews, you might not want to do it in Miami. And this just in from Church Chronicles, Islam Division:
...yeah, we all know that ain’t no way to treat a lady — I guess the Muzzies just didn’t get the memo.
In LGBTOSTFU News:
...any bets on the length of his/her jail time, if any? Anybody? Bueller?
And in the Dept. of Education:
...see above.
From the Health Department:
...so the choice is: die or become a vegetable?
...as opposed to down your throat?
Economics News:
...and not just during the holidays, Sparky.
...so Japs are playing the long game in the Let’s Conquer America thing, then.
Further Immigration News:
...fucking hell, if California has become too skanky for Nikki Sixx...
And a Christmas piece:
...could that be a metaphor about the death of Christmas? I report, you decide.
And in link-free INSIGNIFICA:
And in Liz News:
...it’s been a while. I’m sorry...
That should do, for a while anyway. Still one of the better ways to show the end of the news.
It’s Finally Over
…Christmas, that is.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to go prepare our family Boxing Day Dinner:
Monday Funnies
What… you thought you’d escape the Monday Funnies just because it’s Christmas Day?
Well, you have. But here are a few XXXmas totties just to brighten your day and take away the sting of finding coal in your cock sock.
And if you think that’s bad, see what Chris Muir dun.
Final Christmas Eve Thoughts
…and that’s all the Christmas spirit I’ve got left, unless you’re driving home for Christmas.
Wait…did somebody mention “spirit”?
These fucking guys should pay me money.
3 Worst Women
Here are the three worst kinds of women to be romantically involved with, in no specific order:
- College professors. They are used to being treated like gods in the classroom, and they expect you to do the same. Or they’re fucking headcases who teach one of the “___ Studies” courses.
- HR career women. Fortunately, these things are generally unspeakably ugly and your chances of getting involved with one of them are slim, unless you’re a masochist in which case you deserve everything you get.
- Comedians (we used to call them “comediennes”, but now that’s apparently taboo). If you want every detail — emotional, sexual, whatever — of your private life to become just another part of her act, date one of these grunts*.
*except for Irish comedienne Aisling Bea, who is totally hot and could say anything about me she wanted, as long as I could do unspeakable things to her young Irish body when she’s not on stage.
Phwoarrrrr…