News Roundup

First Roundup of 2024.  Try to contain your excitement…

And off we go:


...which is as it should be, and not just in Brazil.  Can’t see the problem, myself.

And in Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© News:


...come on, Al, you can do better than that.  Why not five billion?


...they don’t work if there’s no wind, they break if there’s too much wind.  Fucking Goldilocks machines.

From the Waste Of Time Department:


...Susan who?  Is she still alive and fucking things up in Congress on behalf of the Downeasters?  And on a related topic:


...this is what you get when you prevent law-abiding Irish citizens of the non-IRA persuasion from having their own guns:  they have to use steak knives.


...and can White people in New York defend themselves with guns?  Don’t be silly;  they can’t even use steak knives because of the No Pointy Stabbing Stuff Law of 1973.


...never trusted them damn Commanches anyway.


…


...could have been worse;  he could have used it for a legitimate purpose, e.g. buying some trannielit for a third-grade class.


...way I see it, Christmas Day for murderers should be when they’re excused their daily scourging, let alone getting a fucking “festive dinner”.

In International News:


...expect our own socialists to send observers down there to see how they do it.


...longest ever recorded, so far.  And to make it truly international:

(same principle)


...fucking scientists are always pissing in someone’s soup.

And in similar INSIGNIFICA:

And finally, in TV Actresses You’ve Never Heard Of News:


…here she is as a youngin:

 

And here she is today, at age 40 in the aforementioned bikini:

Weeny or MILFy?  I report, you decide.

News Roundup

(just in time for New Year’s Eve!

So let’s stagger on with the news:


...that’s because they have less to give, plus they have high standards for service which today’s snowflake yoof can’t provide.


...just out of curiosity:  when the fuck did a couple’s sleeping arrangements move into the public domain?


...because of course they are.

In the Dept. of Education:


...and he did, by golly.

News from the Animal World:


...I’m just surprised he didn’t beat it to death with his huge clanging brass balls.


...keyword:  Florida (duh).

Immigration News:


...fuck me, when the place is getting too rough for Superman…

And speaking of crime:


...this item sponsored by Captain Obvious breakfast cereal.

In Sex Medicine News:


...burned through that first upgrade already, huh?

Now it’s the turn of link-free INSIGNIFICA:

 

And in Showbiz News:


...relax, no pics of Gwynnie.  Instead, let’s look back at her Mom, Blythe Danner, who always was a hottie:

She was (and still is) classier than her silly daughter.

And she’s still a GILF (in her 80s, FFS):

We should all age that well…

And remember, kids:  the Comments are open field in the Roundups.  Play nicely.

Quote Of The Day

From Austin Bay:

“As for escaping to Texas, please stay away. It’s absolutely terrible down here. We have hurricanes and tornadoes and sweltering summers and gazillions of feral hogs. The worst of it:  increasingly terrible traffic thanks to tax migrants fleeing California.”

What he said.  Our local traffic around Plano/Frisco/McKinney looks on occasion like the traffic I encountered in L.A. back in the late 1990s/early 2000s.

He forgot to mention guns.  We have lots and lots of evil guns here too, and a bunch of rednecks who love them.