Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Playing Field, Leveling Of

Drive Time, Sports

NASCAR fans or non-Formula 1 devotees can skip this post.

Consider the final standings for the 2023 F1 season:

 

If that looks like a runaway train for both Max Verstappen and Red Bull, then it was.  Verstappen won 19 out of the 21 races of the season, and Red Bull’s Perez won one.

Which has led to an interesting game among fans, thinking about leveling the field, so to speak, for the 2024 season.  Here are the favorites:

  • Level the driver playing field and find another Perez-level driver for Red Bull to replace Max.
  • Force Max to wear an eye patch and strap one arm to his leg.
  • Force Red Bull to use Trabant engines. (“Then they’d only come 3rd.”)
  • …and Reliant Robin 3-wheel technology.  (“Okay, 4th.”)
  • Fire Max and sign Daniel Ricciardo.  Or Logan Sargeant.
  • …and so on.

Let’s see;  only 90 days till the new season begins.

In the meantime, there are the college football championships and the Super Bowl… which I care about as much as most of you care about F1.

News Roundup

Bad News

Let’s start off with some MuzzieNews:


...get used to it, fuckers.


...damn, a few pretty ones in there, too.  Amazing what losing the black sack will do for a woman.

In Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© News:


...wait:  wasn’t this supposed to have happened in 2015 already?  Oh wait:


...anyone else confused yet?  This might explain the following item:


...no wonder they lost their empire.

From the Department of Health:


...seven?  I can think of a dozen, without even trying.  See next item.


…

Time for some news of the Great Cultural Assimilation Project:


...mind you, the Irish have needed something to riot about since the Troubles ended.

Not to be confused with this lovely story:


...and if he does, the people responsible for freeing him should be jailed, or worse.


...that’s no way to talk about Mounties.


...it’s known as “The Crime Of The Century” by just about every Chicagoan.  Like substituting Burger King for Lawry’s.


...see, under the old Evil Apartheid Regime©, he’d have been dead for about nine years already.


...WTF is a dog influencer?

Time for some Nookie News:


...Rule #1 for threesomes:  don’t use cheap condoms, and nobody’ll get pregnant.


...we know, we know:  if you’re a guy, it withers and drops off;  and if you’re a chick, it grows closed.  Doesn’t everybody know this?

And now, it’s time for INSIGNIFICA:

...sheesh, Ozzy;  I’m pretty sure your sex has been well-driven by now.

Finally, there was some unimportant awards show in Britishland, and was attended by the Usual Sluts & Harlots:


Salma wasn’t there, but what the hell:

And that’s it, for the news.  Oh wait, there’s one more commercial:

Certain Truths

Advice

Over the past couple of days, I’ve seen a couple of things on the Knuckledragger’s website that just make me nod my head at the truth of them.  Here’s the first, which I’d actually seen before — with a caption:

The caption?

“Every time I see this gif, all I can think about is:  child molesters.”

The other one, which also holds universal wisdom, is less radical but sage nevertheless:

Is there a man alive who would go rummaging around in his wife’s or girlfriend’s bag?  Speaking for myself, I just hold the bag as in the pic, and hand it over without saying a word.

When asked why, I make a flippant remark like “I thought I heard some hornets buzzing around in there”, or “No no no, there are things with sharp teeth in there”.

And you know what?  I don’t think I’m wrong, either.

No man should.

News Roundup

Bad News

Let’s start off with some Political News:


...also too incompetent, too corrupt, too socialist, etc.


...oh noes, yet another red wave (which will turn into a pinkish trickle — if that — on Election Day).

And in Furrin Political News:


...which was so unexpected that the socialists didn’t have time to “find” more votes for their candidate.

From the Pentagon Papers:


...fired soldiers to Army:  get fucked.  (Well, I would.)


...DUDE!  Also, typo.

In the Animal Kingdom:


...takes a while to change a whole nation’s cuisine choices, dunnit?

And speaking of foreign shitholes:


...when you’re worse than California, Cuba and Venezuela...

In Sex News:


...begging the question:  what exactly was a 20-year-old woman doing in a cemetery at 4am, alone?


...just taking a page from the Schumer/Feinstein playbook, really. [/puke]


...wait:  women have orgasms?  Must be some new thing.

In Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© News:


...actually, a cheaper solution would be just to ship all the JustStopOil and similar Greenpeace loonies to the Moon.  Without space suits.

And when it comes to INSIGNIFICA:

...well, to be fair, nobody uses pocket watches anymore.


...no great loss;  it was a terrible show without Clarkson, May and Hammond anyway.


...and nobody cares.  However, Hannah Fry is a ginger hotty:

And on that red-hot note, we end the news.