News Roundup

Bad News

Let’s start off with some MuzzieNews:


...get used to it, fuckers.


...damn, a few pretty ones in there, too.  Amazing what losing the black sack will do for a woman.

In Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© News:


...wait:  wasn’t this supposed to have happened in 2015 already?  Oh wait:


...anyone else confused yet?  This might explain the following item:


...no wonder they lost their empire.

From the Department of Health:


...seven?  I can think of a dozen, without even trying.  See next item.


…

Time for some news of the Great Cultural Assimilation Project:


...mind you, the Irish have needed something to riot about since the Troubles ended.

Not to be confused with this lovely story:
...and if he does, the people responsible for freeing him should be jailed, or worse.


...that’s no way to talk about Mounties.


...it’s known as “The Crime Of The Century” by just about every Chicagoan.  Like substituting Burger King for Lawry’s.


...see, under the old Evil Apartheid Regime©, he’d have been dead for about nine years already.


...WTF is a dog influencer?

Time for some Nookie News:


...Rule #1 for threesomes:  don’t use cheap condoms, and nobody’ll get pregnant.


...we know, we know:  if you’re a guy, it withers and drops off;  and if you’re a chick, it grows closed.  Doesn’t everybody know this?

And now, it’s time for INSIGNIFICA:

...sheesh, Ozzy;  I’m pretty sure your sex has been well-driven by now.

Finally, there was some unimportant awards show in Britishland, and was attended by the Usual Sluts & Harlots:


Salma wasn’t there, but what the hell:

And that’s it, for the news.  Oh wait, there’s one more commercial:

9 comments

  1. HA HA HAAAA He said sluts and harlots.

    But mysteriously no mention of trollops and strumpets. shrug

  2. When I was young I met and chased an absolutely utterly gorgeous first generation Iranian Canadian girl.

    She evaded and avoided but eventually accepted a ride home from work from me. She got more and more nervous to the point she was stuttering and shaking. She asked me to drop her off 2 blocks from where she originally told me she lived.

    As she left the car she apologized and said she had meant to challenge her parents views on male ‘strangers’, but grew too fearful . I suggested she was overly concerned. She said, point blank, that if I turned up there the parents, and her 4 brothers, would kill her then me.

    I didn’t believe her until much later, when the news of how crazy those people can be started going around.

    But she was truly beautiful.

  3. HEYYYY NOW!!!

    Some of them sluts/harlots made your TV Presenter-babe battle a few months ago.

    Too damn bad there wasn’t a Kate Silverton pic in there.

  4. RE the “super pigs: Texans already know how to deal with feral hogs. If these “super pigs” are a lot bigger than the the millions of current feral hogs in Texas , Texans will just use a bigger caliber rifle.

    Meanwhile, Louisiana Cajuns were heard saying that a bigger pig just takes longer to cook at the cochon de lait party.

  6. I was in Chicago’s Loop just before Thanksgiving. I walked past the south end of the old Marshall Field’s store, now Macy’s, and didn’t see any Christmas window dislpays until I was more than halfway down the State Street side. Then there were three windows showing a combination of the Nutcracker and Rudolf the Red-noser Reindeer. The last window showed Rodolf flying while sporting a pink tutu!

    Macy’s. First they fuck up Frango Mints, then they put Rudolf in a tutu.

    BTW, I ‘d never seen so many closed and boarded up stores on State Street before. Dismal. The day wasn’t a totel loss, however. I got to see cousins who were in town and got to see the Picasso drawings exhibit, sculptures by Antonio Canova & Camille Claudel, and then went to hear some excellent jazz at Andy’s Jazz club.

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