Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Finally, Some Good News

Health

…if you’re a compulsive wanker, that is.

While the scientific evidence is still limited, it makes logical sense that regularly using the prostate as it was designed – to create seminal fluid and eject it out of the body – is going to be more beneficial in the longer term than not using it.

The prostate is part-muscle – it contracts during an orgasm to make sure semen goes in the right direction – and all muscles in the body benefit from regular use or they can weaken. And as with any part of the body that secretes fluid, such as the ears or nose, there is a risk of build-up and blockages.

There is some evidence that, if you don’t clear secretions from the prostate, you can end up with an obstruction which, in turn, may cause infection and lead to prostatitis – inflammation of the prostate. This can cause pain and discomfort.

There is also a theory that ejaculating clears the prostate of other potentially inflammatory chemicals.

‘I encourage men with sexual dysfunction to always use an erection. There’s no evidence that abstaining is good for you.’

Ultimately there are no real downsides to upping your sex life – whether solo or with a partner – and lots of potential positives.

And now, if you’ll excuse me…

Oh shuddup.  It’s for my own good.

News Roundup

Bad News

Let’s dive right in.


...only one?


...do they mean meat like this? 
...short answer:  no.  Longer answer:  fuck off and die.  And speaking of nanny busybodies:


...go fuck yourselves, you foul fascists.


...you helped create this movement;  you deal with it, asshole.

From the Dept. of Health:


...keyword:  Brazil.


...note the plural “hospitals“.


...coming from the same crowd who said that unless everybody donned these face condoms, everyone was gonna die.

From the Great Cultural Assimilation Project:


...should be 700,000 but we’ll take what we can get.

And in related news:


...lemme see here:  percentage of NYC seniors who vote Democrat:  100%. 
Ergo:

And speaking of seniors:


...well, that’s one way of putting it.  (No link because paywall)


...all part of the “boys will be boys” policy in… wait, Memphis?


...which just shows that we need commonsense lawnmower control, and that avocados are not that healthy.  Also, keyword:  Australia (?).

Some Animal News:


...keyword:  yup, Australia.

And the most INSIGNIFICA ever:

  

...okay, that’s what I want at my funeral.

Finally, in ShowBiz News:


...yeah, whatever.  Let’s just look at her legs awhile:

Enough?  No?  Okay, then:

I’ll stop here, or else we could be doing this all day.

News Roundup

Bad News

(the first of our Christmas ads for the season)

And off we go.


...sounds about right.  The pity is that the kid will get charged with murder instead of getting a pat on the back for vermin removal.


...is anybody surprised by this?

From the Department of Education:


...get ’em young, honey, go to jail.  Also, keyword:  Arkansas.


...does anyone think that an application of Hammurabic Law would be excessive?  No?  Me neither.


...so one assumes that if a bunch of angry Jews were to disrupt Eid that they’d get the same treatment?  LOL


...keyword:  Turkey.  And now it’s a heavenly body… anyone?  Bueller?


...Go Navy.


...should have fired back.


...actually, he got fined for tossing a brick through her window.  What’s not surprising is that she wants him back.  It’s a lovely story.


...key word:  Russian.


...I got nothing.  Not even a link.


...sheesh;  when even the world’s most clueless woman gets it right, you have to know.


...if you’re going to do something like that, you have to pick the best-lit ride in Disneyland.  And he did.

And now:  INSIGNIFICA!!!!

...as once again, we see the perils of letting Spell Check edit your newspaper.

Finally, in Hottie News:


...of course she looks incredible:  she’s Monica freaking Bellucci, FFS.

Then and now, exquisite.

Breakfast gin, Kim?  I think so.

Brilliant Deception

Men & Women

Okay, go ahead and judge me, but I howled with shocked laughter when I read this little tale:

For months my boyfriend led me to believe he was busy caring for his elderly mother – but she’s been dead all along and his lies were a front for him having sex with another woman, and living with her.

Sometimes, you just have to tip your hat to a master.