Humor – Page 111 – Splendid Isolation

Celebrations And Such

March 29, 2022 Kim du Toit Friends and Family

I will be spending most of today at the range with Doc Russia and some Guests To Be Named Later, so tomorrow’s postings may be few — but will probably contain an extensive range report covering a multitude of guns.

I know you guys hate that kind of stuff, but there ya go.

The background to all this is that Doc is getting married on Saturday and during the week, various family and friends will be converging on this area of North Texas from all over the place, and it is therefore incumbent on Doc and me to entertain them with activities of interest: shopping for the lady folk, and gun time for the men. (Unlike most people in government, we have absolutely no problem in identifying women and what pleases them.) That doesn’t mean that the men will not be shopping (e.g. for shooting gear / guns), and various of the ladies may well want to join us at one of the several shooting events planned for the upcoming week. We don’t care, as long as everyone has a good time.

And on that topic, Doc’s bachelor party is to take place on Thursday night, so the following day may also reveal a paucity of bloggy material, depending on the number of post-debauchery hobgoblins who will take up residence in my skull in the hours that follow.

It’s going to be a tough week. Bear with me, please.

Quadrant Dilemma

March 29, 2022 Kim du Toit Numbers & Statistics

Whenever I see a quadrant analysis on the Internet, like this one:

I always walk away from it, because no matter how you answer it, or how many times you do it, it will always “prove” that you’re a libertarian.

Ignorant Cow

March 28, 2022 Kim du Toit Freaks & Loonies, Media Assholes

I speak here of so-called comedian (comedienne? I’m never sure) Whoopi Goldberg (real name: Caryn Elaine Johnson) who culturally appropriated a Jewish surname in order, one assumes, to get ahead in show business.

‘Twas this same Whoopi who declared on the TV bitchfest a.k.a. The View that in her opinion, Jill Biden should be nominated as Secretary of Health Services, “because she a doctor” — when anyone without terminal ignorance would have known that Mrs. Biden’s doctorate was not in Medicine (M.D.) but in Education, surely the lowest intellectually-ranked PhD outside Womyn’s Studies.

This ignorance has been extended yet again, when Our ~~Caryn~~ Whoopi:

…called on the royal family to “apologize” for slavery

Would it be crass to inform Whoopi that ~~Her Majesty Queen Victoria’s~~ (oops) His Majesty King William IV’s Government outlawed slavery in 1833*? And that future King Charles III and after-him William V have both offered royal apologies for their country’s use of slavery, several times in fact?

In the (paraphrased) words of South African protest singer Koos Kombuis**, “How much longer do we have to say we’re sorry?”

Someone should ask Ms. ~~Johnson~~ Goldberg et al. that very question — but the answer would undoubtedly be “FOREVER!” because otherwise who would the race hustlers have to blame for their shortcomings?

*In terms of European monarchies, the first to outlaw slavery was Denmark in 1803, followed by The Netherlands in 1814, Spain in 1817 and Greece in 1818.

**It’s a pity that Koos sings almost exclusively in Afrikaans, because his lyrics are at once savage and hysterically funny. He and I are not related, and he’s only two weeks older than I am.

Determinative Questions

March 28, 2022 Kim du Toit Advice

As people seem to be unwilling to tell how to define what a woman is, the Babylon Bee has an excellent questionnaire of 12 signs that someone may be a woman.

I would add only three:

13) Do you feel insecure about your relationships?

14) Do you often have low self-esteem, or feelings of inadequacy?

15) Have you ever faked an orgasm?

That should do it, with the Bee‘s dozen.

Monday Funnies

March 28, 2022 Kim du Toit Funny Stuff

Ah yes, our old friend Monday…

So let’s bear up under the strain (shuddup, I haven’t even finished my first gin, waddya expect?):

To make up for that Monday gloom, here’s a true story by The Knuckledragger himself, about a girl named Rhonda, and it’s probably the best thing I’ve read so far this year, anywhere. Well done, Kenny.

And here’s Rhonda Fleming (no relation):