Funny Stuff – Page 116 – Splendid Isolation

By Any Other Name

March 31, 2021 Kim du Toit Health, Mocking Furriners

So this, apparently, is Britain’s roadmap to reality as they emerge from the horrors of Teh Chinkvirus:

To me, all this simply spells

C-O-N-T-R-O-L–F-R-E-A-K-S

…and about a dozen different ways* for the Filth to harass and / or arrest people. But I could be wrong.

Also note that in the Blue panel, football matches (20,000-plus crowds) are A-okay, but apparently weddings are “super-spreader events” because they’re still limited to 15 guests only.

WTF?

*Examples of control-freakery:

have 16 guests at your wedding, not 15
7 people over for Easter lunch, not 6 — even if said lunch is an outdoor buffet
Grandad’s funeral has 31 mourners, not 30
somebody drives 50 miles to visit a sick relative (that’s not “local”, you see)
etc.

Note that commonsense would allow some leniency in terms of the numbers — but it doesn’t have to, because in the main the Filth are a bunch of rule-bound control freaks themselves, and because they can do fuck-all about Britain’s actual crime (muggings, stabbings, robberies etc.); but by God let some granny have one too many guests at her late husband’s funeral, and it’s to jail she’ll be going.

Fuckers.

Irresistible

March 29, 2021 Kim du Toit Food & Drink, Funny Stuff

I must confess that I’ve never understood the Brit obsession with “chip butties” (a.k.a. “chip baps”), which are simply whitebread-and-butter sandwiches with french fries inside them. (A “bap” is a sandwich, either sliced bread or a bread roll — don’t ask, I don’t get it either.)

There’s no reason why you couldn’t put fries into a sandwich, I guess, although I’ve always considered fries to be an accompaniment to a sandwich rather than its filling. Put it down to Weird Shit That Brits Do.

However, there’s been this development: the 1,000-calorie deep-fried chip butty, and apparently the Brits can’t get enough of it. (No pics because… yikes.)

Even better, the deep-fried chip butty can be served with a side order of… fries.

Just when you think you’ve seen it all… although I have to tell you that I wouldn’t mind trying one, just out of academic interest.

Postscript: In Scotland you can get deep-fried Mars Bars, but that’s just the Scots being Scottish. And they taste just about as you’d think they’d taste: bloody awful.