Category: The Worst

Ranked in order of hatefulness:

• when you fart during a blowjob
• when she asks, “Are you really  going out dressed like that?” and you answer, “Yes.”
• when she asks you for something to read, and you hand her the latest issue of Guns & Ammo
• when she catches you in bed with her sister (bonus points for:  her brother )
• when she learns that you pawned her engagement ring to buy that sweet new Ruger

Your suggestions in Comments.

Yes, it’s back!  For a one-time reappearance only!*

In ascending order of horrible:

• read Howard Zinn’s A People’s History Of The United States
• walk along all the streets of downtown San Francisco
• listen to Hillary Clinton explain (yet again) why she lost the 2016 election
• be the lone man in an orgy with the female members of the Congressional Black Caucus
• fly nonstop from NYFC to Australia… on Spirit Airlines or RyanAir.

Your contributions in Comments…

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*unless you guys want more…

Alert Readers will notice that the “5 Worst” feature has disappeared from our Friday fare.

That’s because I was getting bored with it and sheesh, it’s been going for over a year.  From now on, it will only reappear when something truly foul suggests itself to me.

In ascending order of foulness:

• dinner with Nancy Pelosi
• a Christmas fruit cake
• a Claymore mine missing the “This Side Towards The Enemy” marking
• a CD entitled “Frank Sinatra:  The Last Years”
• two dinners with Nancy Pelosi

Your nominations in Comments.

In ascending order of appalling:

• “Your Dad Is Actually Santa Claus” by  Ayn Rand
• “How To Drink Rum Eggnog Like A Grownup” by  Captain Morgan
• “Getting The Expensive Presents You Really  Want:  A Child’s Guide To Blackmail” by  Stormy Daniels
• “Santa Claus:  Just Another White Male Oppressor” by  Andrea Dworkin
• “Jesus Christ:  Jew Bastard” by  Ayotollah Khameini

Your nominations in Comments.

In ascending order of ugliness:

• “Hurry up and ask, Lakesha, ‘cos Santa’s gotta go pee.”
• “No, Olivia, I don’t have a hot dog in my pocket.”
• “Jimmy, could you just scootch up just a little further?  Oh, yes, yes, yessss…”
• “I’ll get you that bicycle, as long as you don’t tell your momma what Santa just did with his finger.”
• “No, Freddie, that’s not eggnog on Santa’s pants.”

Your suggestions in Comments.