5 Worst Things To Do For 20 Hours

Yes, it’s back!  For a one-time reappearance only!*

In ascending order of horrible:

  • read Howard Zinn’s A People’s History Of The United States
  • walk along all the streets of downtown San Francisco
  • listen to Hillary Clinton explain (yet again) why she lost the 2016 election
  • be the lone man in an orgy with the female members of the Congressional Black Caucus
  • fly nonstop from NYFC to Australia… on Spirit Airlines or RyanAir.

Your contributions in Comments…

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*unless you guys want more…

Missing

Alert Readers will notice that the “5 Worst” feature has disappeared from our Friday fare.

That’s because I was getting bored with it and sheesh, it’s been going for over a year.  From now on, it will only reappear when something truly foul suggests itself to me.

5 Worst Christmas Golden Book Titles

In ascending order of appalling:

  • “Your Dad Is Actually Santa Claus” by  Ayn Rand
  • “How To Drink Rum Eggnog Like A Grownup” by  Captain Morgan
  • “Getting The Expensive Presents You Really  Want:  A Child’s Guide To Blackmail” by  Stormy Daniels
  • “Santa Claus:  Just Another White Male Oppressor” by  Andrea Dworkin
  • “Jesus Christ:  Jew Bastard” by  Ayotollah Khameini

Your nominations in Comments.

5 Worst Things Santa Said To Your Kid At The Mall

In ascending order of ugliness:

  • “Hurry up and ask, Lakesha, ‘cos Santa’s gotta go pee.”
  • “No, Olivia, I don’t have a hot dog in my pocket.”
  • “Jimmy, could you just scootch up just a little further?  Oh, yes, yes, yessss…”
  • “I’ll get you that bicycle, as long as you don’t tell your momma what Santa just did with his finger.”
  • “No, Freddie, that’s not eggnog on Santa’s pants.”

Your suggestions in Comments.

5 Worst New-Car Names

Spies Sources tell me that the following names for new car models were once suggested in various countries, but rejected for some strange reason or another.  From bad to worst (and one which was actually accepted):

  • Toyota Vajeena (Japan)
  • Nissan Clitty (Japan)
  • Ford Anil (India)
  • VW Fahrt (Austria)
  • Lamborghini Urus (Italy)

(Actually, both Lambo and  VW have been jointly responsible for some of the worst car names in history, so no surprise that they’re #1 and #2.)

Your suggestions in Comments…