5 Worst Things Santa Said To Your Kid At The Mall

In ascending order of ugliness:

  • “Hurry up and ask, Lakesha, ‘cos Santa’s gotta go pee.”
  • “No, Olivia, I don’t have a hot dog in my pocket.”
  • “Jimmy, could you just scootch up just a little further?  Oh, yes, yes, yessss…”
  • “I’ll get you that bicycle, as long as you don’t tell your momma what Santa just did with his finger.”
  • “No, Freddie, that’s not eggnog on Santa’s pants.”

Your suggestions in Comments.

One comment

  1. And you’ll get that Nintendo Switch, but first, how much heroin will fit in your butt?

    You know Santa can see what you’ve been doing behind the garage, don’t you?

    Well, what’s your address? And which window does Mommy leave unlocked?

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