News Roundup

News fresh off the wine  presses:


I’d prefer that instead of jail they should be locked inside a burning police car, but no doubt someone’s going to have a problem with this suggestion.


doesn’t matter how far it reaches;  nobody’s going to be prosecuted, much less jailed or executed for their fucking treason.


I guess it’s not all bad news today.  Oh, wait:


don’t tell us, tell it to the fucking Chinese.


because of the fucking Chinese.


yeah, but unless “live ammo” is part of the order, it’s fucking useless.


nothing like taxing income before you’ve earned it.

Enough of that depressing shit.  Let’s look at the important news:


as a preliminary guess, my diagnosis would be “fucking psycho” [pun intended]

wonder no more, fuckwit.

And some INSIGNIFICA:

   
the last winning the “No Shit, Sherlock Award” for 2021.

And finally:


you had me at “Christina Hendricks”:

Check Out The Big Brain On Ur-Brad!

Here’s an interesting thing:

The decrease was identified during the Holocene era when human began to form social groups instead of living individually. This allowed them to share information instead of storing it.

By that process, modern brains must be shrinking exponentially as the Internet Effect becomes information-sharing on steroids.

Which would explain rap music and TikTok “influencers”.

Fog Of Confusion

For you to understand the approaching train wreck that is my aging brain, you need only to look at this email exchange between me and a Reader:

Kim,
Thanks for your post about Michael Caine this morning.
Thought I’d add my $0.02, if you don’t mind. One of my favorite movies that he made was “The Eagle Has Landed”.
I wondered if you like it, and if not, why not? I’m not much of a discerning literature or movie connoisseur as you are, but I like to learn. — Tim

Tim,
Love it.  I have the movie AND the novel trilogy.  (Higgins is one of my favorite modern authors, ever since Eye Of The Needle.)

Well, you all know where this is going, right?  Hold on:

Kim,
I haven’t read the novel, thanks for the heads up. I’ll put the trilogy on my reading list. — Tim

Then about ten minutes later, some pieces of Truth came upon me, and I hastily continued:

Tim,
I’m losing my mind.  The author of Eye Of The Needle was Ken Follett, not Jack Higgins.  DOH!!!!
But Higgins did write the trilogy:  Eagle Has Landed, Eagle Has Flown, Night Of The Fox.
Although Follett also wrote a novel called The Fox.
All very confusing to an old man like me.

The latter is not to be confused with D.H. Lawrence’s novella of the same name, nor with the Peter Sellers / Vittorio De Sica movie After The Fox, which featured the luscious Maria Grazia Buccella:

The movie was derived from a play of the same name by Paul  Neil Simon.

Where was I?  Oh, yes.  Anyway:  Jack Higgins wrote The Eagle Has Landed  and its two sequels (a.k.a. the Liam Devlin Trilogy ).

And Ken Follett wrote The Eye Of The Needle and other fine stories.

Everyone got that?  Good.

Now explain the middle bit to me.

News Roundup

Along with thum pithy commentary, ath alwayth.


too bad she can’t run for our presidency.


yeah, all those Comanche hospitals we burned, those Kiowa highways we destroyed, and let’s not even talk about the Cheyenne motor industryor this Apache theater:


I guess I missed the memo where a foreign government figurehead gets to tell people how to spend their own money.


a.k.a. the “we break it, you fix it” management style.


a.k.a the “we’ll cause your prices to rise, but you have to lower them anyway” school of economics.


to the hearty relief of airline passengers everywhere,  What a goat rodeo that was.


I think this “creative shaming” needs a little acknowledgment, not censure.  As my homies say, “Bitch had it comin’.”


I guess his (terminal) blood cancer had nothing to do with it.


in other words, “Wah wah wah I didn’t get invited even though I’m a homo and should therefore have been at the head of the line.”

Time for INSIGNIFICA:

 

And once again, we solve the eternal puzzle of why men play professional football:

 

News Roundup

Here we go again:



not to mention all that “undocumented shopping” going on.


doing the job that the Feddle Gummint won’t, the motherfuckers.



more like a by-product of American feminism, but whatever.


you mean, like when Trump was President?


and you’re absolutely not a fucking fascist, you rancid old bitch.


to the surprise of absolutely nobody.


you mean, Future POTUS DeSantis.

From the Dept. Of Suckage:


sad, but understandable.  Thanks for all the hard work, guys.

MORE FALLOUT FROM THE “JON GRUDEN EMAIL SCANDAL”
and if I gave a shit about the NFL or what it was doing, this would be upsetting.

And now, some more INSIGNIFICA:

   

And speaking of things being good enough to eat:

Call me a far right-wing extremist, then… and by the way, Bone Daddy’s “burnt ends” are addictive.

About Yesterday

This past Sunday was a rare event:  New Wife prepared her homemade fish ‘n chips, while I did my bit by drinking some  quite a bit  okay a lot of British ale.

The result of all this was that I neglected to post the regular Monday Funnies feature which, as I was going to break with tradition and make it a XXX-Monday Funnies, was probably A Good Thing.

The regular feature will resume next week.