Category: Bad News

Speaking of snake-oil salesmen:

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And in International News:

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Speaking of which:

...I think he misspelled “Caliphate”, there.

On a similar topic:

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From the Dept. of Education:

...can you spell “L-Y-I-N-G  B-A-S-T-A-R-D-S”, children?

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In Tech News:

...we were not shown the poor innocent shopper’s race;  I wonder why that is?  Could this new software be having problems because all shoplifters look alike?

...more because of their “externalized penis size” perhaps, but I could be wrong.

In the Okay, Cupid Dept.:

...the real news is that the honeymoon night pics will be posted on OnlyFans.

And in the new and improved (not really)

...complaining, or bragging?  I report, you decide.

...yeah, whatever.  To be frank, there’s not that much cleavage to plunge into.  Now her legs, however, are definitely worth a little manspreading:

In fact, the back view is far more plungeworthy:

Amd that’s all the news worth diving into.

Speaking of old dicks, let’s look at what our beloved President is doing.

From the The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...relax, Jake;  it’s FJB.  Or, to summarize: “President Braindead Is Insane.”  More concise and 100% accurate.

...if “enforcement” means rolling out the welcome wagon, then yes.

...is it just me, or is it time to go all Pinochet on these shitbirds?

In Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© news:

...easier than blaming Trump or Boeing, I suppose.

In Global Jew Hate news:

...kinda reminds me of when Kaiser Wilhelm II supported the Arabs against the Jews.

...wait:  Arabs are thieves?  Who knew?

From The Kids Are Alright Dept.:

...considering that the Brit cops appear to do fuck all except harass people who post mean tweets, I would have thought that the work was right up their alley.  Or they’re off on holiday:

...all part of the “work-life balance” thing, no doubt.

Okay, Let’s Blame Whitey:

...oh I just HOPE this is true, because I’d hate to think I had to clean up the coffee splatter for nothing.

...I thought that the prime killers of Black people are other Black people.  Except when they do it to themselves:

...okay, this should have been in the Hearts Of Stone Department.

From the Dept. of Education:

...Teacher Of The Year, baby.

...only good news of the day, that is.

In Technology News:

...everything Microsoft does is fucking creepy.

Time for some 

...wait, WHAT?  I’m not sure even Texas could contain those puppies.

In Sporting News:

...breaking news:  Redneck #1 fights Redneck #2.  [yawn]

...lessee what’s exciting the Irish lad:

  ...maybe it’s her swing. 

On the other hand:

 

...oh.  Then:

...I’m pretty sure he’s not that soft anymore. [see above for reasons]

And that’s all the news fit to take a mulligan.

And speaking of cuts, we have some news from the Dept. Of Education:

...I’d suggest “Gender Studies” (or “Anything” Studies), but then I’d be accused of being a hater.

...wait, there are still some male teachers out there?

And from The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

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In other International News:

...I really, REALLY hope that this was a deliberate act of assassination (by the Izzies, the CIA, Iranian dissidents — anyone, I’m not fussy who), and not just some mechanical failure in the chopper.

...seems as though a lot of countries are having problems with ‘coon invasions.

And on this side of The Pond, although not necessarily in the U.S.A.:

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And in the Dept. Of Irony:

...this almost rivals “AIDS Cure Found In Dolphin Livers” as a headline.

In the Sexual Confusion Dept.:

...to the surprise of nobody except the Raving Loony Party.

And in Political News:

...I would imagine during the next Democrat Socialist Administration.

...see, if she’d just married him first...

And in Entertainment News:

...and no, it never fucking ends.  Until they go out of business.

...£££££££££££ $$$$$$$$$$$$ €€€€€€€€€€€€ ?  Mind you, it’s not ALL bad:

...even though I STILL wouldn’t recognize any of their songs if my life depended on it.

Time for some more  

   

...and “Who she?” you ask:

 
...good grief, no man should.

And to get all that scrubbed from our brains, we’ll take a drive down :

...we’ve seen her before, and here she is again:

 

And on that low-cut note, we end the news roundup.

And to help with yer digestion, some news from the Dept. of Education:

...yee haaa.

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And speaking of boners:

...of course she wasn’t.  She was just showing a Gen Z pupil the facts of life, all part of a rounded belly  education.

...keyword: Mahinarangi.

And speaking of motherhood, there’s some Election News:

...what, they’re using moms to print the fake ballots now?

...Insty’s being sarky, Insty is.  As is Sarah:

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From the Sweet Dreams Dept.:

...meanwhile, over in the U.S.A. on that date:

In the Hearts Of Stone Dept.:

...ethnic background of our amputee not mentioned, but...

Also:

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And finally:

...probably because they lead miserable lives?  Just a wild guess.

Speaking of miserable little bitches, here’s the Media News:

...how short do you want the answer to be?

And in the EVERYBODY PANIC !!! News:

...[insert “Islam” joke here]

And in Entertainment News:

...something about being “too figure-conscious” , I think.  Anyway, at least she’s free from all those silly Disney rules and can start to enjoy her life a little:

...keyword:  Dublin.

…and:

...in two words:

And in the latest 

And living in :

...why am I having trouble believing her?  Anyway:

And that’s it for the Roundup.

Speaking of fresh meat, there’s news from The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...I’m thinking:
followed by: 

...and the same as above for whoever signed off on his release.

...and in other news on NPR, Hitler commits suicide.

Some SEX NEWS:

...because of course they are.  Can hardly be worse than the real thing.

...or, as the old advert goes, “UNION — OUI” Of course, they’d only be messing up the Paris Olympics, so

...and the people are sad:

...and her answer is always:  “I just use Scotch instead.”

...more like Dubai-on-Thames, but we’ve talked about that before.

In local news:

...and about damn time, too.  However, the full court will no doubt override the panel.
#9thCircuitAreCommies.

Then from the Department of Education:

...I’m guessing because that if he could, he’d be too old for her.

...I can’t decide whether “witch” is more objectionable than “genderqueer”.  Taken together, of course, there should be a hanging.  Of whichever school official thought this was a neat idea.

Time for some EVERYBODY PANIC!!!! News:

...note:  “could”.  Or… “probably won’t”.
#WeaselWordAlert

And for some totally

    

...not Salma Hayek?  Then nobody cares, honey.

And in our stroll down :

...did somebody say “LINGERIE”???

And that’s the news covered.

Let’s talk about something interesting.

...yeah, and when pets, joggers or children start getting eaten, then — aargh, I couldn’t be bothered even talking about this foolishness.

On to The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...sounds like an elegant solution to a problem, right there.

...and nobody cares, because CdM is just an excuse for amateurs to wear stupid costumes and drink too much.
#StPatricksDay

...basically, it’s a lab experiment for the U.S., only we’re already doing it bigger and better.

News from The Pulpit:

...and the AP (of course) thinks that this is a Bad Thing.

Then you have what the Catholics would call “the heathens”:

...but if it’s not to Allah, then one of those faiths is gonna kill you, of course.  And speaking of foolishness:

…what the hell, they’ve allowed Commies into their clergy, why not the freakos too?  And the final nail in the coffin:

...plans?  I thought that program was pretty much in place already.

And speaking of evil teachers…

In the Dept. of Education:

...gets around, doesn’t she?

Some Pre-Insignifica:

...keyword:  Floriduh.

...when it works on Harvey Weinstein, then she can make that claim.  Unless, of course, she’s managed to combine the smell of money with the taste of chocolate, in which case all bets are off.

...basically, it’s a Train Smash trifecta:  dubious hairstyle choice, intoxication and a cigarette.

And in even more 

 

...actually, having the Sun King’s genes splashing around in her DNA pool probably explains a great deal about her.

And in the Who She? Dept.:

...bikini by Shein, lips by Michelin.

And that’s the news.