Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

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Men & Women

This dispatch just in from the Sex Wars:

AI doll manufacturer Realbotix has recently fitted new models with Wi-Fi, enabling high-speed synchronising for voice and animation.
They also stand to benefit from 5G, which is poised to give us vastly superior mobile internet data.
This means sex robots will be able to connect and update without needing to be near an internet router.

And this comment from the Official Tester, Brick Dollbanger [sic]:

[T]his technology will make them so realistic, we won’t be able to tell them apart from humans.

I’m waiting for the “Make me a sandwich” upgrade, which I think will be the tipping point.

 

Auctions vs. Pleasure

Business, Funny Stuff, Men & Women

It’s not often that a newspaper story leaves me convulsed with laughter, but this one did:

Red-faced auction house chiefs are forced to look for a new venue after bidders are put off by ‘screams of pleasure’ coming from swingers club upstairs

You have to read the whole thing to get the full Monty, so to speak, but I started giggling just at the thought of a staid-looking commercial building inside which both of these are going on simultaneously:

Yeah I know, I’m a sick and twisted man… and don’t even get me started on “Greedy Ladies Day”.

Cutting Humor

Funny Stuff, Mocking Furriners

Ol’ Diogenes has a little fun at the expense of the Brits:

Here in America we worry about democrats trying to take away our 2nd Amendment right to keep and bear arms. Over in England, Royal subjects are not allowed to have guns so Brits run around stabbing each other, which prompted the government to take away knife ownership rights. Naturally British thugs have to move on to carrying something else lethal.

Or, as we put it:

That’s a badass-lookin’ Bowie, by the way, although I prefer my Fox (with 1911 to give the proper proportion of the thing):

One wonders what the Regents Park Plod would make of that?  (Oh, and I have no rusty spoons in my possession, so I’d be okay — see link for explanation.)

AIDS Cure Found In Dolphin Livers

Funny Stuff, Nature

Okay, nothing quite reaches that  finding on the Kim Irony Scale, but this one sure comes close:

Cleaner waterways in New York City have attracted more sea life, including seals, dolphins, whales, and sharks in bigger numbers than seen in a century.
Sadly, many don’t survive the trip — there are also more mammals washing ashore or getting stranded.
Cases of beached whales have surged statewide, from 22 in 2009-2013 to 41 from 2014-2018, data from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration shows.
In the city, Breezy Point in Queens has become the top place for beached whales, with two dead humpbacks being discovered there in 2018, according to the Atlantic Marine Conservation Society.
A third whale found last year was hauled off the beach in Jamaica Bay in September.

So Greenies, what’s it gonna be:

  • dirty water / no dead whales on the beach, or
  • sparkly-clean water / dead whales all over the place?

I’ll be over there in the corner, laughing my ass off.