Stuff that makes me laugh
…this excellent advert arrived from Gunstuff TV yesterday (note the opening sentence):
That’s the ticket. Don’t waste your Chinkvirus money on silly stuff like the rent, groceries, entertainment or car payments: buy a damn gun!
Don’t mind me: I’m just giggling like a schoolgirl, here.
News commentary, as written by Hemingway. Links in the pics.
From Britishland:
…yeah, welcome to OUR Deep State world, Bubba.
…as all Amazon and Wal-Mart customers know, Chinese quality control is legendary. And speaking of which:
…ordinarily I’d be worried, except that none of them will work. Also, we need things to shoot at while we’re cooped up in our houses. (Pro tip: 00 buckshot)
…(unspoken:) Give Us More Money. However, if you look at the map, the famine would likely have struck even without the Chinkvirus. In other words: carry on, nothing to see here.
…they’re all gonna die. When Gummint is optimistic, it’s time to head for the bunkers.
…52-year-old single mother of four (all by different fathers) needs sex. Quite a prospect.
…all well and good, except it’s almost impossible to monitor abusive behavior during a lockdown. But hey, let’s throw money at it: that always works. Stupid Seffrican tart.
…looks like I may have to be cooped up for a while yet. Shit.
And finally:
…I report, you decide:
I love reading Davis Thompson’s blog because he is an expert in les affaires de la Fisque, such as in this priceless piece:
After reading the news, it is time to attend to my indoor garden, to do the work of keeping my plants alive: the trimming and the watering and the fertilising. This work is meditation, a way of going on.
Yes, going on. Bravely, heroically, and despite the realisation that your preferred candidate lost an election, four years ago.
And then the defiant phrase,
My houseplant garden is a tiny national park that Donald Trump can never destroy.
By the way, today’s word is fixation.
Read the entire thing to get the full, intensive effect.
There is one small problem, though, with reading Thompson’s stuff, and that is that it exposes one to lunacy of all sorts: Left-wing, feministical, academic and eco-freak, to name but some, and all with massive overlap between them.
Because I don’t read Slate or New Yorker, for example, I’m never exposed to such nonsense — but reading Thompson does do that, in the same way that playing with dogs, while wonderfully pleasurable, does expose one to their bad breath and fleas.
Nevertheless, go on and read such splendid pieces as the above, as well as Please Update Your Files And Lifestyles Accordingly (for extreme wokedom and snowflakery) and Land Of The Before Times (for extreme eco-hypocrisy).
Why should I be the only one exposed?
The only good thing about this self-isolation/lockdown bullshit is that the days seem to blur together, and Monday is little different from any other day. Nevertheless, we are more dependent on home deliveries, which can trip us up occasionally:
And I think I can say without fear of contradiction that we’ve all been if not there, then in the same zip code. So on with Teh Funny:
And to add to the delights of the day, some Random Totty:
And to make us all feel better:
And may your next “essential” trip to the supermarket contain at least one of these:
OMG and WTF?
…because you can’t be trusted to control your throttle, peasants. (see yesterday’s rant about Porsche; add Volvo to list of Cars I’m Never Going To Buy)
…well, considering that the Coronavirus originated in a ChiCom bioweapons lab anyway, the primitive fuckers may as well go back to eating lizard testicles, bat ears and tiger hearts.
…no; genocide is creating a toxic virus in a bio-weapons lab, then allowing it to escape and spread around the world, you bat-eating motherfuckers.
…and my efforts to import some of those stoney Krauts to California continue apace.
…in the reign of Emperor Kim, morons like this will face summary execution because they’re just wasting oxygen. They’ll be standing in the execution line right after people who drive slowly in the fast lane, unlicensed Mexican drivers and Piers Morgan.
…I have only one thing to say:
…oh wait; Brits aren’t “allowed” to own that much ammo because their politicians have a “Volvo” mindset. Oh well. Bye bye, red squirrels.
…which means that the hapless Brits are now paying only three times as much as they should.
…yet another import market for stone-throwing, iron bar-wielding Germans.
…and no doubt some British, Australian and California police are looking on enviously.
…finally, some good news. Although my instinct is to encourage these filthy hippies to congregate in massive numbers — for the good of the planet.
