Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

“Dear Dr. Kim”

Advice

Dear Dr. Kim:
My girlfriend says she has been faking orgasms for a year and I am considering breaking up with her.  What should I do?  — Unsatisfied, [address withheld]

Dear “Unsatisfied”:

Short answer:  Break up with her.

Long answer:  Break up with her.  No relationship has ever survived sexual dysfunction — in this case, your desire to take your partner to the peak of sexual intimacy, and her inability to do so.

Longer answer:  Break up with her.  In the vast majority of cases, a woman’s inability to have an orgasm is not physical, but psychological — and most especially if she’s never been able to reach a climax with any partner.  There is no upside to the two of you trying to address this together and frankly, I don’t see marriage as even a remote option here.

This is not your problem;  it’s hers.  Move on.

— Dr. Kim Read more

3 Inexplicable Things

3 Inexplicable Things, Funny Stuff

Haven’t had one of these for a while, so here goes:

3 People who should have retired a LONG time ago, but haven’t.

  • Dog The Bounty Hunter — FFS, he’s like 200 years old, still epitomizes White Trash with that trailerpark hairdo and bad-boy-gay clothing which would get him thrown out of any respectable biker gang.  And his schtick is older than my withered ass.

  • Joan Collins — another oldie well past her sell-by date, but still acts and dresses like she’s 25.

  • Nancy Pelosi — this drunken old gargoyle continues to cling to power long after she’s made enough money from it to last four lifetimes, and done more than her fair share to make the U.S. a socialist country.

Feel free to add your suggestions to substitute for the above, but they’d have to be really good to beat this lot.

Choices, Choices

Deep Thoughts, Funny Stuff

Found this at Knuckledragger’s place, and it got me thinking:

If the next meteorite was going to strike a U.S. city, which one would get your vote?

Suggestions in Comments, with a BRIEF rationale.

Unless you nominate Washington D.C., San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York, Seattle or Portland.  Then no explanation is necessary

News Roundup

Bad News

News presented as though it matters.


…and right on cue:


…and homeschoolers see their numbers increase.  Until homeschoolers are also classed as “domestic terrorists” by the DOJ.


…in other news, Stevie Wonder decries the color of his car.


…also:


…and if you think that the second is not a maskirovka of the former, I have a NY bridge to sell you.


…and why not?  It makes the same kind of sense all his other nominations have made.


…you don’t say.  And because only 40% of the population vaccinated, death and chaos will ensue.


…says the man who still hasn’t realized that a) he’s pretty much irrelevant by now and b) that we’re going to ignore everything he says.


…if they were, I might just register as a Republican.  As it is, though…


…looking for a) a conscience and b) equal treatment from the Left is a pointless exercise.

From the Heart Of Stone Department:


…this could only be funnier if the passenger turned out to be the groom.

And from the Department of the Blindingly Obvious:


…and in other news, Japan surrenders after A-bomb dropped on Nagasaki.


…okay, we’ll just go back to calling them “mothers-to-be”, until all those pregnant men start objecting to that too.

And INSIGNIFICA:

 


…because they want to close their money-losing magazine for good  [sic].

And as a reminder of what Playboy models used to look like:

No girly-boy can ever compete… but that’s not gonna stop the Super-Woke descendants of Hugh Hefner, is it?

News Roundup

Bad News

News that can be trusted, because it comes from TV, the newspapers and the Internet.


…and to think that we men used to get into trouble for referring to women as “life support systems for pussy”.


…key word:  France.  And ladies, if you and the Mister are in financial difficulties, watch out what he gives you to drink, or at least hide the videocam.


…there go the Republicans, under-achieving as always. I can think of at least seven, without even working at it.


…

…from both sides of the blockage.


…but the national origins of said criminal clans?  A complete mystery.


…they owed him one after turning down the gun-hater to head up the ATF.


,,,being too busy forming their own.


…fixed it for them, the woke journo bastards.


…vive la France.


…why am I not surprised by this?  Best part is all those diet-conscious people who believed in the Diet Coke/Pepsi bullshit and felt virtuous about their choice are probably feeling like proper idiots right now.


…and in Comments, your suggestions for our new country’s name.

Time for INSIGNIFICA:


…I think we all know at least one woman like this.


…in Georgia, this news item would appear in the “Upcoming Weddings” section of the paper.


…tough broads, those Scottish totties.


…and when you see the pic, you’ll see why she had no difficulty at all.

Finally, here’s someone in the news:

     

Okay, Charlotte Hawkins is actually a newsreader on Brit TV, so technically I’m correct…