Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Roundup

Bad News

Brought to you by:

And the news is even worse:


…that’s some funny shit, right there.

As is this (no link):

Even better:


…no mention of their modern-day slaves, i.e. everyone living in Britain.


…I said this would happen one day.  And the idea going to be floated here at some point in the near future.


…“Bozo” Biden was unavailable for comment.

From the Dept. of Assimilation:


…ah yes, that well-known tolerance of Islam.

…and:


…after they applied for grade school teaching jobs, no doubt.

From the Dept. of Religion:


…frankly, old cock, I think most people would agree that you should spend more time talking about the Devil, something you trained for, and much less time about all the other wokist shit you go on about.


…those being:  lying, telling falsehoods, mendacity and fibbing.  We’re not even going to mention the other sins of making shit up and overtly supporting the dark forces of evil (i.e. Marxism).


…and Just Like That, their future career prospects shrank by 90%.


…not the same:  worse.

And speaking of Depends:


…what are they going to do:  imprison him?  If such a fate ever befalls me, expect a whole lot of shit like that, only much more malevolent than just mooning.  You heard it here first.


…only 1.) what did you expect for 36 quid, and 2.) you need a slimmer body to carry it off, and 3.) what kind of fucking wedding dress is that in the first place?

And from the files of INSIGNIFICA:

 


…and not a bad body for a 42-year-old Nigora:

     

And that’s all the “news” fit to report, embellish or invent (/New York Times ).

Before Zoom

Entertainment, Technology

…and I’m not talking about the Internet comm thing.  Here’s a series of pics taken with an old camera in Germany sometime in the 1930s (before the zoom lens was commercially available to the mass market):

Whoa!  I mean WHOA!  People took those kinds of pics out in public back then?

Oh.  Well, at least she looks pretty…

Aaaargh.  And this is why technology is not always horrible.

Stop It, You’re Killing Me

Behind Enemy Lines, Crime

…and if you live in upscale areas in Los Angeles, that might be “literally“:

Crime has risen dramatically in Los Angeles, as well as in many other major cities, since the start of the pandemic and last summer’s protests against police violence resulted in the slashing of many law enforcement budgets. News stories document rising fear across LA and crime has become the major issue in both the upcoming mayor’s election and a possible recall of the district attorney. It may not be surprising that issues of race and class are driving this concern, though they have a new twist.

Wealthy and predominantly white neighborhoods have experienced the sharpest upticks in a wide array of crimes.

It shows that the richer and whiter the area, the greater the increase in both raw crime totals and percentages of total city crime. This includes a wide range of felonies, from robbery, burglary, shoplifting and car theft to aggravated assault and rape.

California voters have moved the needle on crime in recent years. Proposition 47 decriminalized a number of theft and drug charges, making them misdemeanors, as it did several “non-violent” felonies. Voters also approved Proposition 57, which allows for early release of non-violent offenders.

Imagine that:  you vote to decriminalize all sorts of crime, and those types of crime increase and the goblins goes to where da money izz (/Willie Sutton).  Read the article for the breakdowns.

Who could have seen that coming?

Well, nobody except the 70-odd million people who voted for Trump last time around.

And stop giggling like little girls, you lot;  it’s unbecoming.

Job Opening

Media Assholes

Right here in Texas:

I’m applying for the job.

Just think of my initial report descriptions:

Jesuslanders are irrationally opposed to sexualization of 3-year-olds.  Send $125,000 so I can investigate this strange mindset further by polling studies.

Inexplicably, gun ownership appears to be a big thing here.  Send $125,000 so I can build a small arsenal and see what all the fuss is about.

Texans somehow think that people should be allowed to buy medical insurance to suit their own needs and means.  (To Accounting:  Please send $10,000 to cover my recent out-of-network medical expenses.)

I have discovered that in 2018, various voting districts went 75% for Trump.  As these districts are all over the state, and Texas is apparently a bit bigger than New Jersey, please authorize an additional $145,000 in travel expenses so I can visit these distant worlds, so to speak, and investigate whether there were any voting irregularities.

Feel free to add your suggestions as to other things that the Washington Post will need me to cover.