Humor – Page 126 – Splendid Isolation

Ya Thank?

July 20, 2023 Kim du Toit Conservatism, Politics, Resistance

From the Redcoats Burn Down The White House! news department:

Some Republican senators are concerned that conservative populism is taking over the Republican Party — concerns which coincide with increased distrust in federal agencies and establishment media outlets.

Wow, I wonder how they managed to figure this out… so late in the game.

Clueless idiots. Oh wait: here might be a clue:

Distrust for basic institutions has continued to bubble throughout President Biden’s time in office, particularly in light of the Department of Justice (DOJ) targeting former President Donald Trump while seemingly allowing Biden family corruption to go relatively unaddressed.

And Congress is right on it:

Such mounting concerns led to the creation of the Select Subcommittee on the Weaponization of the Federal Government, which has worked to showcase the corruption of the FBI and DOJ.

A show of hands, please: how many of you think that this subcommittee’s findings will result in anyone being fired, imprisoned or even fined for said corruption?

None of you, huh? Me neither.

I’m a conservative, all right, but I’m nowhere close to being a populist, politically speaking. But if we look at the scale between “Boys will be boys” at one end and “Hang every last one of them from lamp posts” at the other, with each passing day I’m finding myself sliding ever closer to the “Never mind the gallows; we have lots of ammo” position.

What amazes me is that “some Republican senators” are only now becoming aware of how common my position is turning, even amongst the more polite conservatives.

And when the Communists steal the 2024 election with millions of fraudulent mail-in ballots?

We’ll just have to see.

The Story That Broke The Internet

July 19, 2023 Kim du Toit Funny Stuff

…or at least won Comment Of The Decade.

Seen at Kenny’s place.

Even if it’s NOT true, it’s the funniest story ever.

News Roundup

July 18, 2023 Kim du Toit Bad News

Speaking of close shaves:

...okay, which one of you didn’t return Sarah Hoyt’s Shocked Face? And lest you think this is a U.S.-only thing:

...of course you have, you slimy little shit.

Still on the topic of Gummint skullduggery:

...wait, they weren’t on c.c.?

...”the common defense” treaty clause notwithstanding? Again, I am astonished that someone with so little foreign affairs intelligence was once U.S. ambassador to the United Nations.

Some Crime News:

...and a nation cheers.

…and:
...I assume both were the Frigidaire 247 “Jeffrey Dahmer” model.

And in Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© News:

...gosh, who could have seen this coming? — well, apart from any thinking human being, that is.

From the Dept. Of Injustice:

...if this evil, murderous bitch were murdered in the prison parking lot within minutes of release, I’d throw a party.

...in other news: scorpion stings frog.

...and if you’re thinking “swapsies?”, I know: I’m wondering the same thing. They all look a little too All-American Christianist, judging by the pic; but nowadays, who knows?

...don’t tell us; tell that foul Paltrow mountebank.

And in still more INSIGNIFICA:

...unless she had really bad sex when she was (a lot) younger, I bet it isn’t. But that’s not as stomach-churning as this one:

...just kill me now. Foul Scandi slut.

But some welcome news, for a change, in Women’s Sports:

...and who she, this Giulia Gwinn?

And not in uniform:

Lovely. I’m really glad she’s not following the Slut Career Path.

“Dear Dr. Kim”

July 18, 2023 Kim du Toit Advice

“Dear Dr. Kim:

“Not only has my wife now gone off sex altogether, she won’t even kiss me. She says it makes her feel “dirty and disgusting” and that it’s just not something she wants to do any more. I don’t understand where this has come from, but it’s beginning to break my heart.

“I’m 55 and she is 49. We have been married for 20 years and now have two grown-up children. While we’ve never had the most exciting sex life, we always used to make time for a bit of intimacy. Now she no longer touches me, and even when I try to kiss her or cuddle her, she makes it clear how uncomfortable she is about it. I’ve tried everything but she is making me feel unattractive and unwanted.

“How can I solve this problem? I miss feeling close to her.

— Rejected, Cambridge

Dear Rejected:

Of all the ways a woman can reject a man, telling him that intimacy makes her feel “dirty and disgusting” has to be the most brutal. So why is she doing this to you?

She’s having an affair.

No point whining about it; it’s a done deal. If you don’t want to get a divorce, move all your stuff into another bedroom (you should have one, as your kids are grown), and then start living a separate life from her: women, friends, late nights and so on. When you go out, don’t tell her where you’re going or when she can expect you back. If she asks if you’re seeing another woman, tell her it’s none of her business. Tell her that “closeness” is a two-way street, and as she’s walked away from you, you’re not going to beg for it.

Don’t even bother negotiating with her, and don’t listen to her if she wants “things to go back to the way they used to be”.

By the way: if she’s not having an affair, then she has psychological problems that are so profound that there’s no point in you trying to understand or fix them.

In either case, my advice is the same: dump her and get on with your own life.

3 Honest Questions

July 17, 2023 Kim du Toit 3 Inexplicable Things

Okay, here are three things in the current Zeitgeist that I need answers to.

Am I the only one who gets the creeps every time I see this little fegeleh‘s pic?

If the Stupidest Person In Congress (that would be Sheila Jackson-Lee of Texas) has admitted that she wouldn’t be where she is without affirmative action, does that not condemn the whole policy right there?

Am I the only one who can’t watch a video of Biden mumbling, stumbling, stammering his way through a public appearance and making an absolute fool of himself? I mean, I actually cringe at the spectacle and have to turn it off.