Yeah… it’s Monday again:
Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
News Roundup
And off we go, like a slut’s panties:
...hands up, those of you who think this task force won’t fix a damn thing:
…oh, all of you, huh?
...wrong headline. The proper premise is: where the hell are those billions coming from?
...that’s just Trump being his narcissistic asshole self.
Some good news, for a change:
...anything that prevents the distribution of that foul-tasting shit is A Good Thing.
News from the Mass Assimilation Project:
...but you assholes are still going to vote him back into power, so who cares.
...ditto for this clueless harlot and her equally-clueless NY voters.
From the Dept. of Global Cooling Climate Warming Change©:
...and the citizens’ response should be:
Speaking of people who need a ride on Air Pinochet:
...of course you didn’t. That was Hunter’s job, you corrupt motherfucker.
In the Kingdom Of Wokedom:
...LOL and it couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of preening, self-righteous shitheads.
...that’ll teach you to recruit marketing staff from Anheuser-Busch.
In INSIGNIFICA (a.k.a. “How does this bullshit qualify as news?”):
...poor kid. Imagine being born into that celebrity whores’ nest.
And in Celebrity News:
Yeah, I remember Lisa back when she was a youthful hottie:
And that’s it for the news.
Caption Competition #293
Fill in the blank, in Comments.
One More Kindred Spirit
My loathing for seagulls has been well documented (here, for example), so when I saw this little snippet, I was mightily pleased, oh yes I was:
A blue plaque has been installed to commemorate a man made famous – for swearing at seagulls.
The honour was cheekily bestowed on Huw Davies – who was renowned for shooing the pesky birds away with expletives.
Huw, from Aberystwyth in Wales, was previously honored with a joke plaque on his favourite bench when he passed away.
And the new one (which is not as funny because OMG swearwords doubleplusungood):
I wish that I could achieve such fame, for so trivial a cause.
I suspect that
Kim du Toit
Used to sit here and shout
FUCK OFF!!! at authority figures
would be tripleplusungood, even though it’s a very accurate summation of my lifelong attitude.
But yet, we persevere.
Speed Bump #2105
…”baited breath”? You had worms in your mouth?
Fucking illiterate morons.
News Roundup
And from the Department of Health:
...considering that my favorite pub snack is beer, that’s excellent news. And speaking of Queer I mean Beer News:
...not Bud Light, because nobody would want it for free, let alone buy it.
In our Catalog of Stupid People:
...cause of death: terminal stupidity. And on the same topic:
...should be only seven, of course, but that’s Bidenflation for you.
In Human Relations:
...as she discovers that there are two kinds of “snapper”. Speaking of snappers:
...sounds pretty cool to me.
And on the subject of “cool”, there’s this from the Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© Apostles:
...and here we go again:
…I’m thinking 20ga #8 birdshot into the legs if caught in the act, but I can be persuaded otherwise.
...never mind the sharks; just look who’s issuing the warning — Dr. Rosie Jones:
Speaking of unwelcome visitors to Britishland:
From the Dept. of Immigration:
...my kinda guy.
Time for some link-free INSIGNIFICA:
...as long as you weren’t turned on, darlin’.
And speaking of sex toys, here’s some Media Celebrity News:
...no, I don’t know who she is either, but let’s have a look:
And in hot-weather gear:
Let’s all head off to the beach, because news time is over.