Category: Funny Stuff

Staying Home II

Mocking Furriners, SHTF

It is, as they say, to LOL at our cousins in Britishland as they begin to panic:

Panic-buying Brits strip supermarket shelves of pasta, couscous and water: Shops are left bare of larder essentials as well as toilet roll, Berocca and disinfectant as coronavirus ‘preppers’ brace for meltdown

Couscous?  [exit, pissing myself laughing]

Sorry, had to clean up a little.  I do like the addition of Berocca (supposed hangover remedy, similar to Alka Seltzer) to the list of “emergency” supplies.

Just go ahead and read the article for more merriment.  Good grief, do these people keep anything in the house?

Followup:  of course, let’s not forget our own doomsayers here in Murka:

Unhealthy Associations

Funny Stuff, Health

Here’s yet another reason why running can be bad for your health, and that of others as well:

The Italian super-spreader at the heart of Europe’s coronavirus crisis infected his pregnant wife, two doctors, an elderly woman who died from the illness and at least nine others when medics failed to test him.
The 38-year-old man, known only as Mattia, went to hospital in Codogno, northern Italy, three times with flu-like symptoms before doctors finally screened and diagnosed him with the killer virus.
He was prescribed anti-flu medication and sent home to infect countless others because medics presumed he couldn’t have the illness as he had not been to China.
The marathon runner first complained of feeling unwell on February 14 and was not diagnosed until February 20, six days later, when he developed pneumonia.
When he was rushed to hospital, and told he had developed pneumonia, his wife recalled that he may have been in contact with a friend from China.

Oops.

I guess this means that you shouldn’t associate with people from China…or with Italian marathon runners either, for that matter.  Seems like commonsense to me.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

It’s Monday, and the 25,000 shirts you ordered for your company have finally arrived from China:

But never mind all that;  let’s have a chuckle.

And to make you feel a whole lot better, here’s Brooke Lyons:

Now go fix that order.

Spoilers

Train Smash Women, Travels

I am completely hostile towards people who seem to be unable to get on an airliner without either being drunk, or getting drunk on the flight, and causing trouble either way.  As with all things, as long as drunk people are quiet and keep their shit together, who cares?  But then you get this kind of situation:

As Kenny would say at Knuckledraggin:  straight up White trash, God bless ’em.

I can see the day coming when all flights are booze-free, and passengers suspected of being drunk (think:  breathalyzers before boarding) will be denied their flight.  Or, this may only happen in shithole places like Manchester UK or Las Vegas NV, which is where most of these incidents seem to arise.

Look:  nobody enjoys a relaxing pint of gin more than I do, so I feel a little sorry for people such as Mr. Free Market, who routinely get completely whacked when flying — especially on the very long ones such as UK – Hong Kong or Australia – anywhere — because frankly, it’s probably the best remedy for boredom.  But people like him may have to have their fun curtailed by louts such as the above prize pair, because at some point, a drunken asshole is going to pop the cabin door at 30,000 feet, with predictable consequences.

I have to say, by the way, that I myself always travel sober for the simple reason that the normal dehydration of flying + the dehydrating effect of booze has only one result: 

 

…so a ban on booze wouldn’t affect me at all.

But it’s always the few idiots who fuck things up for the many, isn’t it?

Storm In A Teacup

Food & Drink, Freaks & Loonies, Marxists

Good grief:  does the insanity of the Left know no bounds?  (That was a rhetorical question;  we all know it doesn’t).

A Brit Conservative politician appeared in a social media post holding a bag of Yorkshire Tea:

…whereupon the Loony Left went batshit (as is their wont), threatening boycotts and wanting the company to dieeeee!

Never mind that arch-Lefty Jeremy Corbyn also  posed with a bag of the same tea brand a couple years ago.

Note:  there were no calls from conservative Brits to boycott the brand back then, because that would have been stupid.

I wish these Lefty tools would grow the fuck up.  This bullshit of “if they don’t agree with us, they must be destroyed” is getting really tiresome.

On an unrelated note, I have to point out that Taylor’s Yorkshire Tea is outstanding.  New Wife drinks only the “Gold” variety:

..and downs about eight large cups thereof per day.  The difference between the Gold and most of the regular brands we get Over Here (e.g. Lipton’s) is enormous.  If you’re a tea drinker, give it a try — you’ll thank me for it.  (I don’t want to hear from the iced tea people;  this is not a discussion about that foul stuff.)

Under Water

Mocking Furriners, Weather

As some may be aware, the Brits have been getting slammed by storm after storm after storm, bringing rain, floods, gales, more rain, more floods, more gales, and now… snow.

Even the stiff upper lip of Mr. Free Market is trembling, as witnessed by something he sent me yesterday:

Although I must say that the views on the FM estate are quite lovely:

Yeah,I know: according to the global warmists, snowfalls in Britain were supposed to be a thing of the past.  So who are you going to believe:  a bunch of watermelon alarmists and panic-stirring journalists [some overlap], or your own lying eyes?