Category: Friday Feature

In ascending order of “you’re gonna get fired”:

• “Screw what H.R. says.”
• “When I was in San Quentin…”
• “My project will come in well over budget and a year late.”  (unless you’re a liberal politician, in which case you’ll be just fine;  you might even get a promotion)
• “I’m sorry about the affair with your wife, but…”  (bonus points if you’re a woman)
• “On our next business trip together, bring some edible panties… again.”

Your contributions in Comments.  Bonus points if your contribution ever got you actually fired.

Ranked in ascending order of horrible:

• When you live in Venezuela or Zimbabwe
• When your business partner is part of the Mafia or the Russian mob
• When your business is a Christian bookstore and you live in Saudi Arabia
• When your business model was designed by a Harvard MBA
• When you live in California.

Your suggestions in Comments.

In ascending order of hideousness:

• Flight attendant on the New York – Ft. Lauderdale flight
• Male employee at Salon magazine
• Kathy Griffin’s personal trainer
• Product tester at a refried-bean canning factory
• Any job where Michelle Obama is your boss

Your suggestions in Comments.