Murka

If this doesn’t make you proud to be American, go and live in Switzerland*:

The Cannonball Run record has been broken seven times over a five-week period after illegal road racers took to the empty streets during coronavirus lockdown to drive from New York City to Los Angeles.
The newest record holders, who have not been named, completed the 2,800-mile cross-country journey in less than 26 hours, beating last month’s record of 26 hours and 38 minutes.

That’s only a little less than twenty extra hours’ time spent flying from NYFC to LFA (taking into account the total time needed to get to the airport early, waiting around, boarding, taxiing to the takeoff point, and the flight itself, about six hours usually).

It’s also a whole lot more fun withal.

The rally has also become a lot easier to evade traffic cops, seeing as said fuzz are too busy ejecting families from parks, enforcing lockdowns on bars and florists, and all the other useless shit the various government entities are amusing themselves with.

All these new records — essentially breaking the law each time — make my chest swell with pride.  More, please.


*Switzerland, despite having some of the best roads in Europe, absolutely hates cars, and most of all fast driving.  Swiss speed limits are the lowest in Western Europe, and are savagely enforced with astronomical fines, confiscation and even imprisonment for transgressors.  Oh, and all motor racing is banned.  Fucking pissant wankers.

Sardines? Not Quite

OMG the Brits are SO lawless, flocking en masse  to beaches at the first warm day in ages and overcrowding the place:

Well, I guess it depends on your camera placement, doesn’t it?  Here’s the same beach:

Not really that crowded, is it?

Anyway, I don’t care.  I don’t do beaches because it’s hot and you get sand in your thingy.  Give me a decent bit of lawn any day:

Actually, I hate being in the sun, period, and as for sunbathing… don’t get me started.

I try to learn from the mistakes of others.  Besides, you never know what you’ll see in the sun (note the attribution, bottom left):

Ugh, no.  I prefer to avoid sunburn (and unfortunate sightings) in the traditional manner:

Indoors, pint, fish & chips, friends (note:  that’s The Englishman’s hand, no doubt poised to steal a chip from me).

That is heaven, not sweltering in the sun on some manky beach with sand in bad places.

Slogans

BritPM Winston Churchill Boris Johnson has decided to take stern measures in Britishland’s struggle against the Nazis the Chinkvirus by issuing… SLOGANS!

…which when translated, comes out to mean this:

I think we Murkins should use the same awful weapon, only directed at our wonderful government:

Or else, if the Gummint doesn’t get the message, a public service message to Red America:

Just kidding, of course.  I would never use so terrible a weapon as a slogan billboard against our beloved Gummint.

Quod Desiderata Est

That’s Latin for “things to be desired”.

A couple years ago the locals on Spain’s Balearic Islands (Majorca, Ibiza etc.) staged massive demonstrations against the crowds of (mostly British) tourists who invaded the islands each year and partied ’til they puked, literally.

Well, thanks to the Chinkvirus, the islands have gone from this:

to this:

I guess all those erstwhile Balearic protesters are now seeing the wisdom of that old question:  “Suppose you got exactly what you wanted…”