As an Ole Phartte of some renown, imagine my gleeful chuckles when reading about this man’s requirements for employment at his business:

A Welsh dessert shop boss has shared the most brutal job advert you’ve ever seen on Facebook, but has been universally praised for his no-nonsense attitude.

And if you don’t give at least one approving “attaboy” when you read the ad, we can’t be friends.

Here’s a similar no-nonsense attitude, but in precisely the opposite direction.

We run Britain’s strictest pub – no phones or kids are allowed inside and anyone who swears is BANNED

As one would imagine, I would be in real danger here — although I’ve found that the more I drink, paradoxically, the less I swear.  (Regular Drinking Buddies Mr. Free Market, The Englishman and Doc Russia might contradict this, though.)

Whatever:  I would happily guard my tongue at the Fox & Goose to be free from screaming children and fucking (oops) cell phones.  The only thing that might cause me to give the place a miss is that I’m not that fond of Samuel Smith beer — but then again, life is full of compromises. innit?


  1. Kim’s link for the Welsh dessert shop story points to an article in the Sun. I found that article intensely irritating, because at no point to they offer you the opportunity to read Mr. Shortman’s job ad in its entirety and judge for yourself. The article has a few heavily censored quotes, but mostly summarizes and paraphrases the ad. And at the very bottom of the article is a screen shot of the ad, also heavily censored.

    What are we, children? I don’t need the Sun or anyone else to shield me from profanity. If reproducing the original text of the ad violates your tabloid’s standards, then provide a link to it and warn readers not to click it if they find four-letter words “triggering.”

    Fortunately, the Daily Mail is not as spineless as the Sun. The DM article includes an UNCENSORED screen shot of the Shortman ad. Read it if you dare:


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