That’s More Like it

I’ve had some advice for Brad Pitt on a previous occasion, e.g.:

Yep;  all over the world, there are a million beautiful women who will have sex with you on whatever terms you wish to make; and if you’re done with those, there are yet another million who would leave their boyfriends or husbands just for the chance to bounce on your Sealy Posturepedic with you.

Grab a bottle of Southern Comfort, fire up a joint and give a call to [insert the name of random hottie here].

Took the boy awhile, but it seems he’s finally done just that.

Brad Pitt has a new love interest. The 56-year-old actor, who is locked in a bitter divorce settlement with Angelina Jolie, is dating 27-year-old German model, Nicole Poturalski, and the two appear to be getting very close.
The couple sparked rumors after they were spotted leaving Paris’ Charles de Gaulle Airport together on Wednesday and Page Six has now confirmed their relationship.

Of course, he’s Brad fucking Pitt, so he’s back to his old tricks:

BRAD Pitt’s rumored new girlfriend Nicole Poturalski is allegedly in an open marriage with her 68-year-old husband.
The model is married to restauranteur Roland Mary, who owns Berlin celeb spot Borchardt, a favorite of Brad’s in the city.

That’s the stuff, Brad;  don’t bonk just any old pretty chick — get a married German one, for extra-exotic in-your-face goodness.  I kinda feel sorry for the Olde Phartte Hubby, but when you’re pushing 80, have a wife the same age as yer grand-daughter, and Brad Pitt puts in an appearance… well, shit happens.

I feel better about the world, now:  Pantifa snotnoses are getting their arms blown off in riots, and now Brad’s back to being Brad.

I think I’ll make my breakfast gin & orange a double.


  1. This one looks similar to the last one, cept maybe less used. Her lips look like you could stick her on the front of the fridge.

    Guess he likes trailer hitches and garden hoses. I mean, who doesn’t?

  2. I never got that mindset.

    I mean, you’d think that someone who is incredibly rich, handsome, and popular would make an effort to get the best of the best – a demonstrably good woman who also happens to be physically attractive. Instead, he goes for not-very-nice women who are obviously not good companions for more than a week. And then he sticks with them until the train is thoroughly derailed.

    1. “…incredibly rich, handsome, and popular…”
      In spite of all that, maybe he’s a total dickhead.
      Money can do that.

    2. > I mean, you’d think that someone who is incredibly rich, handsome,
      > and popular would make an effort to get the best of the best…

      Tactics are dictated by strategy (and some other things). Strategy is dictated by goals (and some other things).

      If your *goal* is to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, then yes, finding a *good* person who is very physically attractive and willing to put in the work to stay that way would be where you generate your strategy and tactics.

      If your goal is to have the sort of sex that makes for good porn videos, then a moderately hot woman in some sort of polyamorous relationship with a REALLY rich old guy is probably a pretty good strategy. She’s not going to want you to put a ring on it, she’s got someone else (at least one) to go hang out with when you find someone else you want to stick it in, and when you’ve had enough of her shit and move on she’s MUCH less likely to sue you for palimony or whatever, and if she does, much less likely to prevail.

  3. It’s pretty obvious Borchardt doesn’t serve cheeseburgers or pizza. She needs a few on a regular basis, in a big way.

  4. “…but when you’re pushing 80…”

    Pushing 80? At 68 years old? By that description anyone over 40 is “pushing 80”. Perhaps you meant pushing 70.

    Anyway, I can’t bring myself to care one whit about Brad Pitt or any other celebrity and their personal life – or their stupid opinions.

  5. She must have an incredible personality, because there’s nothing remarkable about her looks. She’s got nothing in front or back.

    Maybe her husband is like Jerry Falwell Jr, and just gets off watching.

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