Over at Britain’s The Sun litterbox-liner, there’s a regular column devoted to sex (of course) under the monicker of “Dear Deidre”. Now I happen to think that the “letters” are total fiction (see: Penthouse Letters etc.), but that doesn’t mean that the situations are irrelevant. [/Dan Rather]
Here’s one example: a guy starts bonking someone not his wife, for all the usual reasons. At first, it’s happy-happy-fun-fun times:
She was wearing just a dressing gown when I got there. She led me to her bedroom and we had sex. She clearly loved it and so did I.
…she became very demanding and started expecting sex three or four times a week.
I found it difficult to keep up with her and even got Viagra-type pills off the internet.
I know: we should all be so lucky, right? Read on:
I’ve tried to cut down seeing my lover to once a week but she says that isn’t enough.
She wants us to get together properly and drops hints that she will tell my wife what we have been doing if I attempt to back away.
It was great at first but she scares me now.
Yeah, he deserves everything that happens to him, the louse etc. etc. But let me tell you: something like this happened to me many years ago — not as a husband, thank gawd, but as a boyfriend with a sorta-steady girlfriend — and it was a horrible situation.
It ended badly (no details necessary) — at least in a more-or-less civilized fashion — but I should point out that this doesn’t happen every time. More often than not, lives are ruined by shit like this. It’s the obverse of the jilted ex-boyfriend stalking the woman and his replacement, and the really bad thing about situations like this is that they sometimes don’t end violently, but they often do.
And it’s easy to be all virtuous and self-righteous, but if I know one thing about men, it’s that we fuck up, sometimes even when we know better.
I have a theory that every man has lurking out there, at least one woman who has the power to make him lose his reason. Some men never meet that woman, and they are the lucky ones. Others do, and fall. I have encountered four. The only positive thing about getting to my age is that after while you get to recognize these dangerous women and are prepared for the thunderbolt. And even then, you could still screw up. There are no guarantees. It’s a jungle, and sometimes we men are not the predators, but the prey.
As Desk Sergeant Phil Esterhaus used to say every day: be careful out there.