I see that the Usual Suspects are demanding the removal of all those Rebel hero statues in Tennessee.  But where it gets funny is that they’re talking about replacing them with “real” Tennessee heroes — or in this case, a heroine:  Dolly Parton.

Now, I have to say, the idea has a certain appeal.  I mean… Dolly?


The problem, of course, is that dues-paying members of the Insane Clown Posse are also the feminazis, to whom a statue featuring Dolly’s ummm  assets would be yet another victory for the Eeevil Drooling Patriarchy or some such bullshit.  Which means that Dolly’s “approved” statue would be more likely to look something like this:

…for a twofer, in that the Extremist Muslim Asshole Mob would also be appeased by the covering up of The Whore Parton’s body.  Ugh.

I think I’ll just post another pic or three of Dolly, just to make us all feel better.

Yeah, the hell with that old Klansman, Nathan Bedford Forrest;  in fact while we’re about it, let’s dynamite that stupid Statue Of Liberty, and put up a Statue Of Dolly, using that last pic as a model.  Because if that pose doesn’t say “Welcome!”, nothing does.


  1. As an American and native born Texan (albeit long absent) I don’t call them rebel heroes, I call them traitors. They represent one of the most vile, despicable, and destructive courses of conduct of any culture in our history, and should never have been honored with statues or monuments. And, for the record, the only confederate flag that matters was a blank, white rectangle.

    1. I have a more nuanced opinion than most of the rioters have (not surprising, I think). If the person honored with the statue served the Confederacy in a military role, keep the statue. If the person served in a non-military, political role, no statue. General Bragg, General Johnston, General Jackson, and especially the man whose plantation became Arlington National Cemetery, General Lee should all have statues. Jefferson Davis, no. It grieves me that he has a freeway, turnpike or highway named after him.
      To my knowledge, there are no statues or monuments to William Quantrill or “Bloody Bill” Anderson, or Stirling Price in Missouri, and I find no contradiction in that situation.

  2. Losers are always called “traitors” by the winners of civil conflicts. The statues were symbols of reconciliation, intended to honor the dead, not their cause.

    As for a Dolly Parton statue, I’m not necessarily averse, but I’m tired of being told that I have to welcome every Jose, Mohammed, and M!kele who manages to cross the pond or the Guadalupe. Here’s the model of a Dolly statue I’d recommend for inspiration:

  3. One thing we forget about Dolly, while her more noticeable assets got the attention, she also has magnificent legs.

    Cold shower time.

  4. We made fun of good old Dolly in the old days but with her fantastic voice she is a national treasure. Asked about her boobs, I think it was on Johnny Carson, she looked down and said folks want to know if these are mine, I paid for them so I guess they are mine. From the biography on wiki she had this to say: When asked about future plastic surgeries, she famously said, “If I see something sagging, bagging or dragging, I’ll get it nipped, tucked or sucked.”[111] Parton’s feminine escapism is acknowledged in her words, “Womanhood was a difficult thing to get a grip on in those hills, unless you were a man.”[112]

    1. My favorite of her lines (talking again about plastic surgery): “It takes a lot of money to look this trashy.”

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