News Roundup

And speaking of speeding:


...”than expected” is now de rigueur in statements like this.

From our Crime Reports:


...reminding me of my support of the death penalty for pedophilia.


...I guess all those anti-cop defunding laws are working out just as we expected, but they didn’t.


...keywords:  New Orleans.


...keywords:  Los Angeles.


...keyword:  wait — Brooklyn?

This week’s PANIC ATTACK!!:


…wait, what happened to Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© and The Next Big Pandemic?

In Woke News:


...yeah, just follow the link if you don’t believe me.

In the Heart Of Stone Dept.:


...quit that unseemly giggling, willya?


(no link)


...and when I read success stories like this, it makes me proud to be an American.


...Terrible Tragedy or Great Escape?  I report, you decide.

And in a world of 

...that’s no way to talk about London.

 

News Roundup

Let’s start out with a trip aboard this week’s EVERYBODY PANIC!!! Express:


...note the weasel words “might be”.  (PFA = Pretty Fucking Awful — it’s a scientific term.)

And here’s something to make the Frogs and other Euros panic:


...won’t happen, of course;  the Frogs will just cheat those 13 points away.
[#Biden2020]

Meanwhile, just over the French border :


...keyword:  Belgium.

In Health News:



…and for once I’m not being sarcastic.


...[insert “Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!” joke here]

In the Unforeseen Circumstances section:


...Jeffery Epstein was unavailable for comment.  And more from Boeing Land:


...leaking like their profit margins, no doubt, the woke DEI bastards.
#SellBoeingStock

Some more Wokery Titbits:


...aaaaaannndddd this would also be the time to sell those CVS shares in your portfolio.


...well, let’s pause here and spare a thought for all those boyfriends and husbands who are caught in the fallout.


...let ’em eat carrots.

Our Advice Column:


...spoiler alert:  it’s 85.  Or should be.

And now, in link-free 

 

...typo, perhaps?
#BadEyes #OldFart

Apparently, the Princess of Wales has been busted for altering a family pic:

And finally, speaking of fine superstructures, here’s Canucki chick Mikayla Demaiter:

And that’s it for the news.