Stuff that makes me laugh
At least 76,000 UK nationals in the UAE and other Gulf nations have already registered their location and contact details with the Foreign Office.
Seventy-six thousand? That’s gonna need at least a pallet of Ex-Lax tablets.
Hint: You evacuate a place of people. You evacuate a person with a laxative.
Corrected headline: Emergency Middle East evacuation plans for trapped Britons (or something like that).
Also, the article is paywalled so no link, sorry. And:
…in which I unashamedly yield the rostrum to the Divine Sarah, who begins her current meme set with the immortal words:
To the people bellyaching about war with Iran: BITCHES, I watched our country be humiliated by the taking of hostages. My 12th grade class song was “And I Ran, I ran so far away” and no, it wasn’t talking about aerobics. We’ve watched Iran finance destruction against the US and Israel and taunt our presidents. We watched them arguably interfere with our elections for decades.
Yeah, we bombed the evil oppressive regime of Iran. Don’t like it? Go cry SOMEWHERE ELSE. Your crocodile tears give me a rash.
And then follows a tranche of memes so funny* it will make your stomach hurt for hours.
My favorite:
Go over to Sarah’s place now, and rejoice.
* “funny” depending on which side of the bombs you’re standing, of course.
And a Classical Thought:
So out of the gutter, and down the drain we go — and don’t say I didn’t warn you:
And in that same train of thought:
Speaking of trains:
Back down we go:
And to wrap things up, let’s take some examples from the Hall Of Fame, MILF Wing:
Time to go and face the week, methinks.
Finally, an academic study that keeps us abreast of things:
Scientists have uncovered why women’s breasts are so large compared to other animals.
You all know what’s coming next, right?
Color, you say? Oh, why not…
And finally, a couple of more recent vintage:
I know, I know: it’s been a shamefully long time since we saw la bella Sophia on this here back porch of mine. I apologize for this egregious omission.
…and oh yeah, about that scientific reason why wimmen’s breasteses are so gloriously abundant:
According to a team from the University of Oulu, Finland, breasts may have evolved to help newborns. Human breasts sit at an elevated temperature, protecting a newborn from hypothermia. What’s more, the size and shape of the breast allows for broad contact surface – enhancing the heat transfer from mother to child.
And I always thought it was to help keep men excited and wanting to procreate. Silly me.
Your suggestions in Comments.
“Coincidence theorist”… this may well be the expression that breaks the Internet.