Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

5 Worst Places To Have Sex For The First Time

Friday Feature, The Worst

For men or women:

  • The seaside (where you’ll soon discover why sandpaper used to be made with beach sand)
  • Lena Dunham’s bedroom
  • Any public restroom
  • On an active movie set or at a frat house party (pretty much the same thing, nowadays)
  • Harvey Weinstein’s hotel room

Your suggestions in Comments. Extra points if it’s a place where you actually had sex for the first time.

 

 

Dangerous Business

Men & Women

So not only can sex make you blind, the Daily Mail reports, it can make you deaf as well — or worse:

[B]lindness isn’t the only terrible injury Cupid can inflict. The medical world has recorded a catalogue of romance-related catastrophes that can leave ardent lovers deaf, paralysed, clinically depressed — or even dead.

My favorite of all the woes listed in the article is “lover’s knee”.

Arthritis specialist Dr Robert S. Pinals, of Rutgers University in the U.S., was searching desperately for a cause when he asked his patient about her bedroom habits. ‘Always on my knees,’ she replied.
The patient and her partner had first tried the position a year previously and liked it so much they subsequently indulged ‘several times a day… often on a hard surface,’ reported Dr Pinals.
‘Abandonment of this position was recommended. With some reluctance the patient agreed,’ he reports. ‘Two months later, she said the knee pain had almost completely disappeared.’

I once suffered from massive rug burns after a romp on a bearskin rug, and when we transferred our activities to the bed, the next morning the sheets looked as though I’d slaughtered a small animal in there. [Pro tip: doing it on a bear skin is one of those things, like beach sex, where the concept is far more romantic than the reality. Bear fur is coarse and scratchy. Stick to cotton sheets.]

Of course, sometimes rug burns are a necessary evil:

Of course, that’s not a politically-correct image these days, is it? (Which is why I posted it, duh.)