Stuff that makes me laugh
Greta Thunberg Identified As Coronavirus Carrier (“Typhoid Mary” Syndrome)
Cocaine Usage Plus Coronavirus Infection = Instant Death
Higher Coronavirus Fatality Rate Linked To Loud Rap Music In Cars
…and my favorite:
Gunsmoke Kills Coronavirus
Your ideas in Comments.
I saw that the CanuckiPM’s wife has been diagnosed with the dreaded Wuhan virus. I didn’t even know the little drip was married, so I hastened to see the evidence:
Wait… what? Shome mishtake, shurrly.
She’s quite hot, in that bland north-of-the-48th-parallel way, and probably could have had her choice of Canucki-males. But no. This near-hottie did this:
…with this?
Good grief.
Then I learned that she’s since had three children, all allegedly fathered by him.
As I said, inexplicable…
Courtesy of the Powerline folks comes this Ammo Grrrl story:
Long before the COVID-19 Panic, I had a dread fear of not being able to feed my loved ones. Once in San Francisco when our son was a baby, there was some sort of long-forgotten dairy panic and all the milk disappeared from the shelves of the grocery stores. Or at least the one I could walk to since we didn’t own a car.
One barefooted dirty hippie girl had just finished loading all twelve remaining gallons into her cart. I said, “Look, I have a six-month old. I breast-feed him, but I need the milk for me to make the milk. May I please have just one? You will still have eleven.” She refused. She said she didn’t even have kids and just planned to scalp it to other desperate people. I said, “Well, you haven’t paid for that yet, so if you are going to be a [several bad words], I will just take one then.”
And so I did. She screamed in outrage and, frankly, shock, but there were no cameras in stores yet, so what could she do? She briefly considered fighting for it, but thought better of it. I mean, what kind of scary lunatic takes stuff out of another woman’s cart? Without so much as a Swiss Army Knife? Better to cut your losses and move on.
Coffee, meet nostrils. Best part is that because Hippie Chick hadn’t paid for the stuff yet, it wasn’t technically hers — cameras or not — so anyone could have done that to her.
It’s funny how the hippies never seem to realize that without a power equalizer (e.g. a 1911), you’ll always be at the mercy of someone stronger than you are.
I see with interest that inhabitants of Los Angeles, New York and other liberal shitholes have suddenly discovered the value of guns:
Americans are starting to panic-buy guns with sales rocketing across the country and shoppers lining up around the block outside hunting shops amid coronavirus fears.
California, New York and Washington – the states hardest hit by the deadly bug – all saw a massive surge in gun sales.
Some buyers sought to ‘protect their families’ from looters should food and supplies run out due to coronavirus panic.
Of course, there’s always some wiseguy ready to poke fun at their plight:
Suddenly, homeschooling is becoming more desirable:
Oy, you! It’s time to wake up and begin the recovery:
So to help with the process, a little hangover-inspired humor:
So to help with the excuses, some inspiration:
Edy Williams:
Giada De Laurentiis:
…and Marilyn:
Now get outta that bed, and start making things happen.