Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

3 Inexplicable Things

3 Inexplicable Things

Welcome to a new feature on this here blog, which will look at why strange things happen (or don’t happen) in various categories.  Today:

3 Inexplicable Things About Figure Skating

1.  Even though Jayne Torvill was kinda plain-looking and had a dorky hairstyle, most men would still have bonked her if given the chance.

 

2.  Gay men participate in the activity.

3.  This move hasn’t ever resulted in any sexual harassment cases:

(As my friend Patterson once put it:  “Grab her box and you’re a piggish bastard.  Strap on some skates first and all of a sudden it’s ART.”)

More inexplicable things to follow, as I see them.

Feel free to leave your own contributions in Comments, but restrict them to figure skating.  Violations will be deleted.

News Roundup

Bad News

Here We Go Again, with acerbic commentary that will make your lips scrunch up like Nancy Pelosi eating a lemon.


…turned right instead of left at Damascus, and there he was.


…I think this is the first SC judge I’ve may actually have fallen in love with.


…ummm no, actual structural racism was in one of your nation’s former colonies, Ginger — that being South Africa — and it was called apartheid.  Everything else is just a pale shadow.


…the only news in this is that the dad was arrested.  Apparently the Australian rozzers want to keep all the paedo-punching for themselves.


…and note how the headline puts “de-arrest” in quotes, but not around “woman”.  And speaking of weirdos:


…yup.  Hoofbeats are definitely getting louder.


…a Democrat lying about gun control?  In other news, polar bears eat seals, sun rises in east, etc.


…“pure evil”?  I can think of better examples, quite frankly.  And if “rape” is defined as “sexual intercourse without consent”, how can this be called rape?  Asking for a friend.


…not reported:  whether any pins were involved.  (Yeah, he was a sperm donor.)


…I think I may have responded “Oh God, yes” to this one.

And finally:

Mrs. Crouch shows off her nipples.  Not that this is news, or anything, but it was a slow weekend.

5 Worst RealDoll Models Ever

Friday Feature, The Worst

Ranked in order, from “of very limited appeal” to “you’ve got to be fucking kidding“.  First, for men (all with the vocal function enabled):

  • the “Andrea Dworkin” (retro model)
  • the “Joy Behar”
  • the “Gender Studies Professor”
  • the “Hillary Clinton”
  • the “Taylor Swift”

And for the ladies:

  • the “Brad Pitt” sorry I meant   “Dog The Bounty Hunter”
  • the “Jack Whitehall”
  • the “Jerrold Nadler”
  • the “Harvey Weinstein”
  • the “Piers Morgan”