Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Roundup

Bad News

Even worse than usual, these news snippets.


…gosh, and to think that only 18 months ago the U.S. was totally energy-independent.  What could have happened since then?

And in related news:


…given the serious competition from Kamala, AOC, Tlaib, Schumer, etc., it’s more like a necklace of albatrosses.


…because he wrote that racist “Declaration” thing, no doubt.  Oh. wait…
Daneek Miller (D-Queens) said he wanted the statue gone because it doesn’t represent contemporary values.
…and NOW you can start oiling the ropes.


…some?  Res ipse loquitur.


…yeah, we’ll get right onto that.  And on the same topic:


…gosh, why ever would that be?  Oh, wait:


…that’s why.


…you lost, get over it, STFU and enjoy the fruits of Western civilization.


…maybe not in your house, fuckwit, but everywhere else in Real America…


…and we’re going to do just the same here.  Viva Chile!  Let’s Go Brandon!


…it started going downhill when to save money, UK doctors were encouraged to “consult horoscopes” instead of using actual medicine.


…once more, with feeling:  Rope.  Tree.  District Attorney.  (Some assembly required.)


…and your point?


…ummm because he is?


…I would have thought you could just use fish oil instead of cologne, but what do I know?

And for INSIGNIFICA:

   

…which makes the rather surprising implication that only Black people loot.

And:


…it also being a crime for Black people to call each other “dumb-ass nigger”, and London’s Cockneys may not refer to people from Newcastle as “fucking Geordies”.

Here are a sample few of the aforementioned Geordies.

Donna Air

Jill Halfpenny

Shivaani Ghai

Andrea Riseborough

Cheryl Cole

Of course, they don’t all look like that, but I wanted to spare you the projectile vomiting.

No?  Okay, then… say hello to the Geordie Shore girls.

Ah, Texas

Anti-Gun Nannies, Marketing / Advertising, The Gun Thing

Here’s one guaranteed to make the GFW Brigade have fits:

The owner of a Texas gun store and shooting range is holding a “not guilty sale” after Kyle Rittenhouse was acquitted of all charges last Friday.

The Saddle River Range in Conroe sent a text message to customers about the “Pre-Black Friday clearance sale” which started Saturday and will last through Thanksgiving.

My favorite part?

“We would like to clear up some confusion, the post states. “We are celebrating the life that Kyle Rittenhouse now gets to live because he was able to defend himself without being penalized for it. This is a big win for the Second Amendment and cause for celebration. For those of you who think we are celebrating “the death of innocent people”, we apologize that you didn’t take the time to gather and evaluate the actual facts from the case.”

Brilliant.  And thankee Reader Mike S who sent it to me.

Room With A View

Real Estate, SHTF

For those who want to get away from it all, there’s always this place:

I can just see the listing description:

Adorable cottage with unbeatable Alpine view needs only a little TLC to make a perfect retreat from the bustle of city life.  No-maintenance garden and limitless recreational activities await its next loving owner.  Property adjoins national park, so no neighbors will spoil your view or solitude.  Only the screams of the many falling climbers  soaring eagles disturb the silence, and winter snows turn the area into a picture-postcard life.  Main road  path only steps away.  One of a kind value!

Uh huh.

News Roundup

Bad News

Bringing you the usual mix of pointless, stupid and crappy stuff.  Also the sorta-news.


…key word:  India.


…the difficult part is not involving Hillary Clinton in the process, because no one will believe a Kamala Harris suicide.


…just wait till they actually get to see some.


…


…Rope.  Tree.  Nadler.  Some assembly required.


…not nice to refer to our beloved FBI as “tools”, but here we are.

And a few headlines from the department of :


…not to mention that it makes them think of eeeevil guns.


…all the hundreds of Nazi-loving actors who ever played Hitler could not be reached for comment.  Best part:  Mirren is a howling Lefty.


…good.  Let’s go back to calling them perverts. sickos and Clintons.


…how about:

…too strong?

And in an unusual display of common sense:


…next on the list:  Afghans, now that the Great Satan is no longer in their country and peace has been restored.


…what he said.

Time for INSIGNIFICA:

 


…actually, there’s no “could” about it.  As the holder of a foreign title, Markle is Constitutionally prevented from being President.  LOL.

Finally, from a hardworking wife and mother:


…and because:

…here ya go:

Hey, for a quarter-million bucks a year, I’m just surprised there aren’t more of them.  Or maybe there are, but how would I know?  (I feel a spin-off post coming…)