Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Opulence

Drive Time, Law and Order

Combat Controller sends me these pics under the heading:  “I think someone’s police department has too much money”:

“…compared to the Sheriff’s department…”:

When you think of how often the city cop cars will be in the shop for repairs (five times per month, average) compared to the Sheriff’s cars (twice a year, average), it’s an even worse picture.

News Roundup

Bad News

If you thought the news was bad before, wait till you see this stuff.


…this being Britishland, they can’t wave shotguns in the trespassers’ faces.


…


…yeah, and should he find these fuckers have been breaking the law and abusing their authority, I’m sure we’ll soon see prosecutions of both the miscreants and the politicians who told them to do it.  [/eyecross]


…


…under the reign of World Emperor Kim, instant coffee would be banned as a crime against humanity.  Also light beer.

From the annals of Covidiocy:


…an excellent example of corporate totalitarianism.


…I’m just wondering how our own shithead politicians managed to miss that one.


…this would be the time for Blue state governors to copy a Scandi country, seeing as they already have similar tax rates.


…fucking hell, if Goldie Hawn can figure it out… but having seen “mental health” in a headline, I have to go and down a shot of gin.


…should have tried Beethoven, but as they’re Kiwis, they’ve probably never heard of him.

And speaking of idiots:


…


…if I were the judge on this case, I’d give the little fucker a choice:  life in prison, with no Internet access or TV, ever;  OR be stoned to death by a group of volunteers .


…oh bloody hell, another “mental health” headline.  At this rate, I’ll be shitfaced by 10 o’clock.

“What about INSIGNIFICA, Kim?”

      

Finally, Brit TV presenter Holly Willoughboobies turns 41:

Here endeth the news.

5 Worst Valentine’s Day Cards

The Worst

(Monday Funnies will return next week.)

Ranked in order of ascending foulness:

Happy Valentine’s Day!  (men to women)

  • …from your love sausage
  • …to the world’s deepest tunnel, from its longest train
  • …I love you so much, I have a pic of your face on the inside of my undies
  • …to my darling Fiona  (and your name is Sally)
  • …now please sign the divorce papers

Happy Valentine’s Day!  (women to men)

  • …and just remember:  no flowers, no annual blow job
  • …to the man I’d most rather fake my orgasms with
  • …to my second-favorite anal sex partner
  • …to the pair best suited to my scalpel
  • …to the father of at least one of our children

Your suggestions in Comments.

News Roundup

Bad News

The usual mix of crap and sublime… as you will see.  Let’s start with the sublime:


…oh yeah, baby.


…to the astonishment of precisely… nobody.


…and nobody will watch it.

Some in a cheering crowd called for her to
be raped. Many were women.
…key word:  India.


…the funeral for Irony will tale place at a time and place TBD.


…whereupon said conservative school board fires them all.  Hey, I can dream…


…although it may make the folks at the bank a trifle nervous when you go in to make a deposit.  And still on COVIDIOCY:

   

Next, some logic:


…good question, innit?  Rachel Weisz and Winona Ryder were unavailable for comment.

And here are INSIGNIFICA:

     


…and because

…here we go:

Here endeth the news.