And off we go:
And here are a couple of little distractions:
So, it’s off to work we go:
Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
Worse Ways To Go
I have to admit that I’m not only sympathetic, I’m a little envious of the way this guy decided to go out.
Porn was being filmed onboard a retired doctor’s party yacht before cops swooped and arrested him on suspicion of drug and gun charges, according to new police documents.
Authorities raided his 82-foot-long yacht called the JessConn, named after his two children, on September 5 in Nantucket after a woman on board called a friend for help. The woman told the man, ‘they were doing drugs all weekend long and people on the boat had been making pornographic films’. She added that she wanted to leave the boat before passing out, causing her male friend to contact authorities – telling them that she had overdosed.
The man told the Nantucket Police Department that the boat had ketamine, Adderall, ecstasy and cocaine on board.
Law enforcement sources told the Current that several prostitutes were found on the boat. No charges have been brought on these claims.
Scott Burke, 69, was charged with one count of trafficking a Class B drug, one count of possession to distribute a Class A drug, one count of possession of ammunition without a license and four counts of possession of a large-capacity feeding device.
He pleaded not guilty to the charges and was ‘extremely uncooperative’ when police boarded the yacht and was placed in handcuffs and detained because of his behavior, according to an affidavit. The married father-of-two claimed that the woman who overdosed had been working for him for a few weeks, and her female friend was staying on the boat.
But here’s the kicker:
Burke was released on a $200,000 bail last week after his lawyer told Plymouth Court that he has terminal stage four cancer — and just months to live.
So if you know you’re going to die soon, and if you have the money, why not go batshit crazy and spend it on one last over-the-top sex orgy?
The charges, by the way, are bullshit. He’s a doctor, so presumably he has the Rx prescription for all those drugs, and the “unlicensed ammo” charge is idiotic — but it’s Massachusetts, so anything’s possible.
And by the way: I want to know what a “large-capacity feeding device” is, and why possession thereof is illegal.
Now that he’s out on bail, Burke might just off himself with an OD of drugs they didn’t find, rather than letting the cancer take him. Under the same circumstances, who wouldn’t do the same?
News Roundup
Today is hereby proclaimed as SEX NEWS DAY (because I’m sick of all the other shit).
...key word: Romanian.
...there are Southern Baptist biker gangs in Britishland? Who knew?
...only a cousin? They should just move to Mississippi.
...when “horny bastard” is translated into New English — “untreated sex addict”, my aching nuts.
...keyword: Virginia? This should play well with the voters [/sarc]; unless her district includes Alexandria, in which case all bets are off.
...”sexual health doctor”? Which medical school offers this speciality?
…
From the Dept. of Sex Education:
...not a bad idea; it’s not like anyone is going to snitch on them, after all.
...judging by her pic, the “miracle” is that the kid could get it up in the first place.
...#Catholic Church
...wait till you see the pics.
...but she’s okay with having orgasms with other guys, for money? I got nothing.
And in (link-free) SEX INSIGNIFICA:
...”granny grabber”, we got it.
...headline edited for clarity.
Must say, she’s a little light in the superstructure for me, but the legs are pretty good.
Caption Competition #297
Your suggestions in Comments.
“Dear Dr. Kim”
“Dear Dr. Kim:
“I’m feeling distraught and jealous after my boyfriend slept with his terminally ill female friend as her ‘final wish’. The jealously is eating me up but I can’t express it as she’s dead anyway. I’d been with my partner for three years, and to make matters worse, he didn’t tell me about it straight away for fear of getting dumped.
“While on a group holiday, a mutual friend revealed my partner had cheated on me, and I’ve been struggling emotionally ever since — particularly because his friend passed away not long afterwards.
“I’m confident that he was never attracted to her, and that they had never had a relationship beyond that, but I suspect she’d always had a secret crush on him. They totally had emotional sex because of her condition. I don’t even know who initiated it. It was probably something like how she didn’t want to die a virgin.
“I approached my boyfriend about it following advice I received from fellow forum-users, and he said he’d regretted it immediately. He didn’t tell me because he didn’t know how I’d react and was afraid that I’d dump him. He didn’t want to hurt me.
“We’ve had an otherwise perfect relationship, but he’s been struggling in the wake of his friend’s death.
“I hate myself because I get angry inside whenever he mentions her. I can’t express my jealousy because she’s dead anyway. This jealousy is eating me up.
“Dr. Kim, how can I deal with this?”
Dear Jealous:
Here’s a question you need to ask yourself (and be honest): if your guy had asked you if he could grant his friend her dying wish by having sex with her, would you have said yes?
If so, then you have no reason at all for your jealousy. Of course, you can get pissed off that he didn’t ask you first — it’s not an unreasonable ask — but from his reaction now, I suspect that he feared that you might dump him even for asking.
Which is the second question you need to ask yourself: would you have dumped him if he’d asked first? The fact that you’re jealous of a dead woman makes me suspect that you would have — and given that he seems to love you, his rationale for not asking is probably sound.
Here’s a parallel thought. What if the sick girl had begged your boyfriend to take her to some place she’d never been to before — e.g. Paris — and just the two of them, without you. Would you be equally jealous now? And if he hadn’t told you about the trip until after you’d found out, would you be equally angry?
I know, a trip to Paris isn’t the same as sex — not the least because the trip would last longer, and be more expensive than a “final wish bonk” — but the principle is the same: a friend’s dying wish was granted that you weren’t consulted about.
Frankly, I think you need to get over yourself and your jealousy. What your guy did was not wrong — by the way, we’d be having a different discussion if you and he were married — and the shades of morality we have here would make this an interesting topic in a university Philosophical Ethics class.
The real question is: are you ever going to forgive him, and trust that he won’t do anything like this again? If you do, you have to agree never to bring up the topic again, no matter what the circumstances. Accept that it happened, his motives were good, and get on with it.
If not, you need to walk away now. And if I’m to be blunt,if you continue to harp on this and not forgive him, he would be well rid of your jealousy. Of a dead woman.
— 
News Roundup
And into the carnage we dive:
...if by “trials”, Sarah means “mass hangings”, then I agree.
...using Commie money to bail out failed Commie regimes — sounds about right. And right on cue:
...and speaking of failures:
…
...not included: listening to anything that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez says.
And in Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© news:
...of course, Africa collectively contributes nothing to the “problem” [/sarc], but that won’t stop them from hustling to get more money from Whitey.
...just another entry in the Climate Lies Journal.
And speaking of that thing:
...yet another example of “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”
...I dunno; I would say that vodka is a more essential part of the “college experience” than 90% of professors, and just behind condoms.
...actually, for any nation’s crime.
...key word: Canada. (Okay, India. Fooled you there for a minute though, huh?)
...whatever punishment she suggests, under the Equal Protection Clause it should be inflicted on 99% of women.
...one might say the same thing about having a conversation with women.
...nice to know that it’s not only Murkins and Brits who can be “asshole tourists”.
In today’s INSIGNIFICA:
...why anyone should be interested in this fat old tart’s sexual preferences is beyond me.
By the way, if you know what she looks like, you’ll have this reaction to a visual of her in “reverse cowgirl”:
Finally, a heartfelt “Welcome back!” to Paige Three News:
...share it with us, baby:
I think we can end the slaughter there.