Tag: Humor

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And if today’s news roundup doesn’t make your ass burn, you’re a better man than I am.

…coming soon to a car near you.

…no homeschooled 10-year-olds were included in the report, because 100% would have been no shock at all.

…hey, if you can’t kill them with abortion…

…wouldn’t know.  Haven’t had one since the early 1970s.

…so, no more “original” songs from her, then, as breakups have always been her principal source.  Till the divorce comes along — assuming, of course, the marriage actually takes place.

…I’d also stop eating if someone started doing that to me to me.  Wait…

…after a damn good spanking.  I’m thinking sjamboks, but that’s just the African in me talking.

And from the annals of Gun Control, Massacre Division:

…why the question mark?

…so that doesn’t work, either.  LOL.

…agreed.  However, then the city’s Democrat ruling party’s policies would start to get attention, and we can’t have that.

…accused of what? Telling the truth?  Rape is terrible, and I’m all for flaying, flogging etc. of rapists;  but murder is a whole ‘nother brand of terrible.

…and that’s before we start with the minefields.

…

…sheesh, I didn’t even know that Blacks went on cruises.

…to get that high a percentage, the poll must have been conducted in the Princeton faculty lounge.

…yep, and OFF! is now a weapon of mass destruction.  JHC.

And now ’tis time for the link-free INSIGNIFICA:

 

…and boy, are you going to thank me for no link to those last two.

And lastly:

I can’t remember the story and I couldn’t be bothered to look for it, but apparently a German soccer coach has left his wife for a comely young sports news reporter.  The hottie that follows isn’t that woman, but with reporters like her going around, that affair is unsurprising.  Ladies and gentleman, allow me to prevent Sky Italia’s  Diletta Leotta (and a delight she is, too):

On seeing these pics, Longtime Friend and Former Bandmate Knob’s comment was:

So much for the news.  Oh wait, one more thing:

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And speaking of asses:

…well yes, except that not one state has a law which defines an ectopic pregnancy procedure as an abortion.  Not one.

Now from the (non-Disney) Animal Kingdom:

…just South Africa reminding Australia that they have sharks, too.  And:

A woman has died after a shark ‘bit off her arm and leg’ at a tourist hotspot in Egypt.
…wait: now the Gyppos try to get in on the act?

…only nine feet long?  [Oz and Seffrica giggle]

…and for those who think that this was just coincidence after the pro-2A Gruen decision by SCOTUS, I have a London Bridge to sell you.

More Californication:

…yeah, this is going to end about the way we all know it will — it’s West Hollywood, so in tears and squealing.

…and you believed them?  LOL

…which chronicles the lifestyle of the Greatest Living Englishman.  And speaking of driving fast:

…while escaping to Florida and Texas, no doubt.

…and if the voters say “Forget it” (as they did with same-sex marriages)?

From the Department of Irony come three snippets:

…’nuff said.

…imagine the humiliation of being caught out by the guys who invented the things.

And:

…couldn’t make this stuff up.

…say “Buh-bye” to a lot of crap schools, and their administrators.

…I’d prefer to listen to the sound of Drowning Piers Morgan, myself.

And from Perverts International:

…oh, you naughty Bees.

…no, she just doesn’t want to be “suicided” by the Clintons, like her old boyfriend was.

…key word:  Australia.

And from the bowels of link-free INSIGNIFICA:

   

And from the sporting world — yes, it’s Wimbledon Time:

…until she lost, of course.  Still:

 

 

Cleans up well, doesn’t she?

That’s the news…