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Tangled Webs, Etc.

Men & Women

Try to follow along with this story (there may be a test).

Man and woman get engaged ‘cos they wuv each other.  (So far, so good, happens all the time.)  Man decides that he likes dressing up in women’s clothing.  (Okay, this doesn’t happen all the time, even nowadays.)  Woman can’t stand the thought of her man stealing her undies and bras (understandable), but instead of handing him his exit ticket, she decides to have an affair with another man (somewhat understandable, perhaps, but getting wonky).

Here’s where it goes all pear-shaped.

Bra-wearing fiance discovers the affair, and when he discovers that she’s going to leave him for Roger The Lodger, beats woman to death with a pole.  (I would call that an extreme reaction, but who am I to get all judgey about this?)  Then, when charged with his beloved’s murder, he claims that she  was “confrontational” and “provoked” him with words.  (Apparently, the deceased was Australian, so one can only imagine…)

In the midst of my laughter while reading the article, however, I just can’t help thinking that at some point, all this may somehow have been avoidable.

Maybe if the Brits stopped Australians from coming to the U.K., if transvestism was banned, or if extramarital bonking was outlawed (or all three)…?

Just sayin’.

This Means WAR!

Africa

…or maybe it might have, decades ago:

Britain could face a tea shortage in a row over land that was seized from native people in colonial-era Kenya.
A Kenyan governor is demanding £15billion of reparations for land that was ‘stolen’ in the 1930s and has warned of Zimbabwe-style farm grabs if Britain does not pay up.

You could do  all sorts of bad things to Brits… but take away their tea?  How would the island nation function?

Of course, in the good old days when faced with a sticky situation like this, the BritGov would simply have sent a gunboat over to Kenya, and either threatened to or actually shelled a seaport or two, and the Fuzzies would have capitulated, toot sweet.

Nowadays the BritGov has better things to do, like blocking the will of the people to leave the EU;  so the long-suffering Brits, deprived of their beloved tea. will just shrug and go to Costa, Starbucks or Caffè Nero instead.

Sic transit gustatum et bibendum.

Afterthought:  Needless to say, had the “settlers” not taken the land and farmed it, the land wouldn’t look like this:

…but instead like this:

…Kenyans being so good at farming, and all.

Oh, That’s Charming

Legal Stuff, The Gun Thing

I see that the Supremes have fucked up yet again:

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled Tuesday families of the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting can proceed with their lawsuit against gunmaker Remington Arms.
The high court decided it won’t take up the case, but said the families can still seek damages from the gun company over the 2012 Newtown, Conn., attack that killed 20 children and six adults. Justices rejected Remington’s argument that firearm manufacturers are shielded from liability in crimes.
The families argue Remington marketed the AR-15-style assault rifle in a fashion that inspired shooter Adam Lanza to plot the attack. Advertisements, they say, promoted the gun as “a highly lethal weapon designed for purposes that are illegal — namely, killing other human beings.”
The lawsuit says Remington should never have sold a weapon that dangerous to the public — and argues Remington used product placement in violent video games.
Remington has argued a 2005 federal law shields gunmakers from liability for crimes committed with their products. Tuesday, the Supreme Court justices rejected that position.

I feel I should say something about this travesty, but what I say could possibly result in an unfriendly visit from a federal alphabet agency — to be met by an extremely unfriendly reception from yours truly — so I’ll just shut up.

So much for that “conservative” Supreme Court the Left has been wailing about.

If I had the money, I would buy a fucking Remington AR-15 right now, even though I’m not a fan of AR-15s (as any fule kno) and apparently the Remington variants are not highly regarded by the AR-15 cognoscenti.

I think I am going to buy another Remington product, however, just so they can get a few bucks into their coffers to defend themselves against this bullshit.  But which one?

There’s the 1911R1 (as a possible replacement for my venerable Springfield):

Then the 870 pump, always a crowd-pleaser, and I’ve never owned one before:
And because I still  don’t own a semi-auto .22 rifle (sssshhhh don’t tell the TX state police), there’s the little heavy-barreled 592:

Or I could just go for something a little more ummm deadly (seeing as that’s what’s getting everyone upset), like the Remington Semi-Automatic Carbine in (say) .308 Win:

None of that wussy AR-15 .223 shit for Kimmy, not in my current mood.

Sadly, right at this moment I can’t afford any  gun, but I think I can formulate a plan to get one which would satisfy everyone except Michael fucking Bloomberg.

Watch this space…

Creating Problems

Drive Time

This little piece caught my eye the other day:

A miscreant driver is facing a £100 fine after he drove along the middle lane of a motorway for three miles unaware he was being tailed by a police car.
The driver was making his way along lane two of the M20 in Kent, refusing to pull into the nearside lane as the law requires.
When pulled over by police, the motorist refused to accept that he had done anything wrong.
…
Kent Police tweeted with the photo: ‘This driver was stopped having driven for a colossal 3.050 miles in Lane 2 of the M20 without any other vehicles about. The driver refused to accept that this was Careless Driving. TOR issued.’

The attitude of the Cunt Kent cops is the same one which sees traffic wardens clamping ambulances which have parked in a no-parking zone while collecting an injured patient.

Seriously:  if the freeway is devoid of cars (stop laughing, American Readers), what possible harm can come from someone not moving into the slow lane?  Clearly, the Cunt Kent police have solved all the major crimes in their county, which frees them up to do bullshit like this.

All that said, I should point out that in Texas, at least, such driving is not an offense.  Not only that, but you’re allowed to overtake slow middle-lane traffic on the right (what the Brits call “undertaking”), which is appallingly dangerous because you often find people turning into the center lane from both sides.  It’s a recipe for disaster, and as someone who drives well over 500 miles a week on freeways, I have to be on my guard pretty much all the time.  [5,000-word rant on asshole pickup truck drivers and unlicensed/uninsured Mexicans deleted]

I know why people stay in the center lane, by the way — at least, why they do in Texas:  it’s because the right-hand “slow” lane is frequently (and without much notice) turned into an “exit-only” lane, which means that you have to scramble over to the left to avoid being forced off the freeway.  It’s one of the several things the Euros and Brits do better than we do, traffically speaking:  a turn-only exit lane is always added  to the freeway, which means that the ongoing traffic is not constricted.

I’m not even going to get into the lunacy of making 25-yard-long freeway entrance ramps (which are the norm in Texas), whereby drivers have to accelerate like fucking Max Verstappen just to be able to merge into the traffic, only to be faced by asshole drivers (see above) who refuse to let you take “their” place in the lane, or who are too busy undertaking another car in the center lane to notice your arrival.

Take a look at this picture (downtown Dallas freeways) and imagine negotiating this nightmare:

There is at least one serious accident at this junction every single day in the morning rush hour, and again in the evening.  (It’s even worse  a half-mile north, where I-35 is joined by the cross-town expressway and the Dallas North Tollway traffic, and contains not only exit-only off-ramps but a left-hand split into the DFW Airport Freeway, where one might have to cross six lanes over in order to get to the airport.  And did I mention the current road construction sections?)

It says something that after two years driving, logging nearly a hundred thousand miles with Uber, the only accident I’ve had was a minor fender bender (paradoxically) in a parking lot, where I reversed out of a parking space into someone illegally parked on a red line.

The plain fact of the matter is that in Texas, we drive too fast and too recklessly for the amount of traffic on the roads, and we are not helped by idiotic highway design.  By comparison, the Brit police can only look with relief on “problems” such as caused by someone not driving in the correct lane on a deserted highway.

Frying Pan, Meet Gas Ring

Advice, Freaks & Loonies

I will never forget reading some thread online where an Austinite was moaning about all the Californians moving to Austin for the tech jobs — and complaining that they were too conservative for Austin.

I hate to break it to y’all, but if you leave California because you’re surrounded by liberals and have lost your “political voice”, and then move to Austin TX (!!!), that isn’t moving at all.  You’ve just exchanged the world’s best climate for an oven, you’re still going to be surrounded by liberal assholes, and your political voice will be drowned out again, this time by liberal Texas twang.  As Mark Pulliam discovered.

So Pulliam is leaving Austin and Texas, and moving to Tennessee.  Given his poor decision-making history, he’s probably heading for Nashville.

Might as well just move to Greenwich Village and have done with it.

Damn

Drive Time

So here was the news:

Volkswagen announced in January 2019 that it planned to invest $800 million in its Chattanooga plant and bring 1,000 jobs with the expansion.

 

But:

Chattanooga will be the first manufacturing facility in North America that will produce vehicles using VW’s modular electric toolkit chassis, or MEB.  The first Volkswagen electric vehicle will roll out in 2022.

Oh, that’s just great.

That’s all we need…

Next thing, VW will announce that they’re replacing the Tiguan with Electro-Bugs, whereupon:

Just sayin’…