Wrong Direction

Now there’s this little trinket:

Amazon is selling a bracelet that gives you an electric SHOCK you when you eat too much fast food, bite your nails or spend too much time on the internet

Hmmm… I have an idea:  how about selling one of these little behavior-modification devices which is triggered when you’re spending too much time browsing the merchandise at amazon.com? 


Then fuck off and die, you corporate fucking nanny pricks.  And take your little Stasi girlfriend Alexa with you to the crematorium.

Down The Toilet

Every so often I get a Red Curtain Of Blood (RCOB) descending over my eyes that is so massive and so intense that I frighten small AND large children.  Well, it’s a damn good thing that there were no children around when I read this  little suggestion:

Janet Street-Porter argues that Notre-Dame shouldn’t be rebuilt… – and that the money should go to ‘more worthy causes’

And what, exactly, are these “worthy causes” of which she speaks?  You know  what they are, but let her tell you herself:

‘If you go less than 10 miles to the suburbs in Paris, large parts – they’ve had some money poured into them but it’s a problem the government can’t solve.
‘People are living in poverty, illegally, there’s drug dealing, gang warfare, and parts of Paris that the police won’t go to.
‘So where are these billionaires, why aren’t they coughing up for that? What about all the poor people in Calais? Where’s all the money to help them?’

Right there is the liberal mindset.   After admitting that Gummint has poured money — not “some”, by the way, but countless millions — and the problem is still insoluble, Our Girl Janet wants wealthy individuals to pour still MOAR MONEY (their own money, duh) into the festering garbage dumps at Calais and the banlieus  surrounding Paris, despite the repeated failure of state money to solve the problems.

Trotskyist bitch.  Take from the rich, and pour it down a shithole, just so you  can feel better that Something Has Been Done.  Marxism in a nutshell:  intentions are more important than outcomes.

And by the way, Janet, you rancid old tart, it’s not about the money, nor even about the French:  it’s about a priceless part of Western heritage and culture (I know, all the stuff that Marxists hate).  And the truth of my statement is that it’s not only the French who visit Notre-Dame Cathedral in their millions each year, but people from all over the world.  Good grief, when I was there a few years ago, I never heard a single word of French spoken among the teeming crowds who were braving a bitterly cold and rainy day to visit the place.

And good for the French billionaires who’ve stepped up to the (collection) plate and pledged hundreds of millions of dollars towards the rebuild.  Civic spirit, generosity, and respect for a nation’s heritage and culture are always to be commended

Lastly, I should also point out that were it not for France’s iniquitous and punitive income- and wealth taxes, said billionaires would have been able to give even more  of their own money towards the project.  But let’s not quibble about a few hundred million here or there, right?

Define “Dangerous”, Asswipe

Just when I’d got my blood pressure down to healthy levels, this kind of shit (from Britishland) gets published and back we go to 500/400:

Parents who homeschool their children will be forced to sign a register or face possible prosecution, according to government proposals.
The Department for Education plans to hold a register of all children not in mainstream schools in a bid to protect them from ‘dangerous influences’.
The move will help crack down on religious fundamentalists who send youngsters to secret schools where they are at risk of radicalisation.

We all know where this regulation is aimed:  at Muslims who want to turn little Abu Buma into Abu Ben-Bomba.  The only problem, as always, is that the law won’t be used against Muslims, ever  — but it will  be used, often, against conservative parents, Christian parents, and anyone, in fact, who dares to raise their children to be intellectual, inquisitive and independent (precisely the qualities that all state education systems seek to eradicate).  All that is dangerous to the control freaks and nannies who infest our modern-day bureaucracy, and don’t for a moment think that they’ll hesitate to brand it thus.

What time does the range open?

More Outrage

Of course, no festival could be safe from the Perpetually Indignant.  From the so-called National Obesity Forum (U.K. branch), we are told the following:

Super-sized Eater eggs are a risk to health because of the extraordinary amount of sugar they contain, [these fucking busybodies] have warned.
Over-indulging youngsters could do ‘real’ damage, they say, if they consumer an entire egg in one day – all too likely at Easter.
Cadbury’s Dairy Milk Crunchie Ultimate Easter Egg contains a whopping 330g of sugar. This is the equivalent of 17 days’ worth of sugar, based on the NHS recommendation for children aged four to six to consume no more than 19g in a day.

It makes me want to go out and buy six dozen of these bad boys, and hand them out to random kids at our local playgrounds.  I wonder if World Market has them in stock…

More Corporate Nannies

Here’s a story which provoked an instant RCOB from me:

A supermarket advert that was set to appear on the London Underground was rejected by rail bosses…
The poster, submitted by online food delivery company Farmdrop, featured a family gathered around a kitchen island with the tagline ‘fresher, fairer groceries delivered to your door’.

Here’s the ad’s pic.  Try to spot why the thing was deemed offensive.

No, it wasn’t because one of the actors is a ginger.  Here’s the actual reason the ad was rejected:

…because it contained bacon, butter, eggs and jam.

The only possible way I could have been more angered was if it was banned because it contains a picture of a chicken, and the vegans complained about that  (I know, I shouldn’t give those poxy fuckers any ideas).

There’s only one remedy to overcome my rage at this point:

…and for the toast, some Irish butter and two of my favorite jams:

Bon appetit, y’all.


Then there’s this fearful nonsense:

[Tim Berners-Lee’s successor at CERN] Francois Fluckiger says privacy threats, fake news and online bullying threaten to turn the web into an uncontrollable force.

…and in other news, the descendants of Gutenberg’s printing press no longer print just Bibles.

The fact that some asshole even talks about “controlling” the web just makes me want to make this blog even more objectionable than it is.  But I won’t, because I have standards.  So here’s a simple and tasteful nature pic, instead.