Category: Modernism

Day For Night

Men & Women, Modernism, Two-Minute Hate

Oh FFS, here we go again:

Bosses at Warner Bros. are allegedly considering taking on a female actress to play the role of the iconic chocolatier, after two previous adaptations starred Johnny Depp and Gene Wilder.

Is any male role safe anymore?  Dr. Who, James Bond’s “M”, Ghostbusters and countless other male roles have recently grown tits and vaginas — I mean, Jane  Bond was even considered a while ago.  (“I’d like a strawberry vodkapop… stirred, not shaken.”)

I really want some brave producer (I know, I know) to propose a movie project entitled “John Of Arc” :  the story of a humble French shepherd boy who gets a message from God, becomes a fearless military leader and rallies an army to defeat an English occupation force.  Then he’s captured and burned at the stake.

Nah, that’s just too far-fetched.  Might as well just cast a chick for the role, to get the green light.  Of course, the movie will bomb spectacularly and lose money — but who cares, as long as Teh Womynz get the gig?

Fucking bullshit.

Asking For It

Feminazis, Modernism, Nannies

Here we go again:

A Belgian sports journalist has sparked fury after making a crude comment about a young reporter’s top on Twitter. Sven Spoormakers posted a picture of Belén Mendiguren interviewing cyclists during a race in Argentina, adding the caption: ‘Is it cold in Argentina?’.
The comment prompted a backlash from fellow journalists who took aim at the Belgian for ‘objectifying’ the young reporter. Spoormakers, a former junior cycling champion, initially defended his comment but later backed down and admitted it was ‘offensive to a lot of people’.

Here’s a pic of the “reporter” in question:

I remember our band’s favorite question when faced with an outfit like this:  “Is it cold, or are you just pleased to see me?”

A more pertinent question would be this:  “Why did you put that top on this morning?”  And don’t give me that “It’s so hot!”  bullshit;  she wore it to attract the attention of the men she wanted to interview, and any other reason is a fucking lie.

Sorry, love;  if the goods aren’t to be looked at, don’t put them in the window.  And as for all the other scolds:  FOAD, and take your “fury” with you.

More Celebrity Bullshit

Modernism, Show Business, The Gun Thing

After not taking down Orange Man Bad, celebrities need another target for their hysteria… so why not go back to an old favorite?

Hollywood’s hypocritical gun control elites, including Rosie O’Donnell, Darryl Hannah, Amy Schumer, and others are applying pressure on studio executives to cut ties with the NRA.  This request comes just over a week before Hollywood comes together on February 9 for the Oscars.
1010 WCST reports that the celebs, joined by the gun control group Guns Down America, sent a letter to the execs which said, “Since the federal government has failed to pass reforms that raise the standard for gun ownership in America, our industry has a responsibility to act.”

Here’s a thought:  why don’t these pricks put their money/careers where their mouth is?  If these precious little darlings hate guns so much, then they should:

  • refuse to read any scripts which contain guns or gunplay; or else
  • tell their agents to put a clause into their next movie deal that if the storyline changes to involve any guns whatsoever, they have the right to walk off the set without penalty.

Let’s see how that works out for them.

Hoofbeats? Yup, Definitely

Modernism

“It is called a manicure after all!”

Actually, “manicure” has nothing to do with men.  It derives from the Latin word manus (hand).  But if only ignorance were the biggest of my complaints.

Great Jupiter’s Ravished Anus.

“I like having a new way to express myself,” Cusick tells The Post. “My wife gets her nails done regularly, and after I started painting my nails at home, she suggested I come along with her. I see celebrities doing it all the time.”
Cusick opted for black nails with a skull design that he found on Instagram under the hashtag #guynails, which has more than 1,400 posts. Next month, he plans to go back to get “something book-themed” for a publishing party.
“I’m already a bit obsessed,” Cusick says. “I’ve always been comfortable with fashion that’s not stereotypically masculine. This just feels like a natural extension of that.”

I feel queasy just having read the article.

Extra-Curricular Activities

Men & Women, Modernism

Okay, that does it:  I am officially jealous of the younger generation, if this kind of thing is going to become commonplace:

An Oklahoma high school teacher was arrested for allegedly having a threesome with a student and another woman inside her home.
Joyce Churchwell, who worked as a volleyball coach at Berryhill High School in Tulsa, first connected with the student over Snapchat and began seeing him at her home last year, News on 6 reported.
The student “admitted that this encounter had taken place at the teacher’s home along with another adult female — a former teacher at the district.”

I mean, a high school kid bonking a nubile young teacher is one thing — but a threesome with another older woman?

Just… damn.

There Goes The Neighborhood

Food & Drink, Modernism

And another treasured institution falls over:

The Full English breakfast could die out within a generation because almost one in five young people living in the UK have never eaten a fry-up.
Despite being a mainstay of British society since the Victorian era, a nationwide study has revealed 17 per cent of British people under 30 have never tucked into the greasy breakfast food.
Millennials are avoiding the traditional meal due to health concerns, with a fifth of 18 to 30-year-olds saying they associate the dish with heart attacks and obesity.
The majority would prefer to have smoked salmon and scrambled eggs, smashed avocado on toast or oatmeal pancakes for breakfast over the Full English.

Here’s what they’re missing, the little shits:

Great Caesar’s bleeding hemorrhoids… how could this sublime creation be replaced by something that looks like calcified sputum on toast?

My own kids (Millennials all) would smother me in my sleep if I were to offer them this slop instead of a Full English on Christmas Day — or any day, come to think of it — but then they’re not Brits, are they?

I don’t want anyone to think that I’m unalterably set in my ways (“No, Kim!  Say it ain’t so!”) — I mean, the last time I had breakfast at Fortnum & Mason, I even had a delicious Duck Rarebit (fried duck egg on hot beer cheese over a piece of toast, as below):

…so I am open to a bit of change — I just don’t want the thing I temporarily changed from  to disappear because some pasty-faced weenies think it’s unheaaaaalthyyyy!

Let me promise you all one thing:  if the time comes when I go over to Blighty, go out for brekkie and find the Full English has disappeared from the menu, there will be murders.  Just the prospect  of “avo toast” on a breakfast table makes me feel weak.

Is it too early for a pint of gin?  I think not.