Things that men and women do, sometimes to each other
Latest news is that a cultural icon is getting off (so to speak):
Former porn star Ron Jeremy, who was indicted on more than 30 counts of sexual assault, is set to be declared unfit for trial on Tuesday, because he is suffering from “severe dementia.”
I guess that the late Marilyn Chambers wasn’t lying when she said she fucked his brains out.
He has looked better — although even in his prime he still looked like the sleaziest man in the world.
In an article so stupid that one would heave the laptop into the pool to escape it, a couple of statements nevertheless managed to stick like burrs onto an idle brain cell.
A successful porn star has shared her expert knowledge – and that includes how men can improve during sex.
Angela White – who has been dubbed “the Meryl Streep of porn” – has 932million views on Pornhub and countless subscribers on OnlyFans.
The 37-year-old is without a doubt one of Australia’s most successful exports, having 95 awards thanks to her performances.
The rest of the article is completely pointless and forgettable, but the last statement was the burr, leading to the tangential thought: what else has Australia memorably exported from its island shores to the rest of the planet?
I’m trying to think of many, or any, Oz exports outside the sporting world (in which area the Strylians admittedly excel). So leaving aside Rod Laver, Greg Norman, Donald Bradman, Margaret Court, Shane Warne, Graham Thorpe and their ilk, what’s left?
Actors Paul Hogan, Nicole Kidman, the Brothers Hemsworth, Hugh Jackman etc. and a few directors (Peter Weir comes to mind)… novelists Patrick White, James Clavell, Thomas Keneally, Colleen McCullough, Neville Shute…
…and that’s pretty much it. (No doubt my Strylian Readers will step up in Comments to chide me, and that’s a Good Thing.)
When it comes to stuff (as opposed to people), the gruel is thin indeed. Of Foster’s Lager and Vegemite we will not speak, and I can’t think of any more Oz exports that come to mind. (There is a list of Oz inventions which is quite astonishing, but a great many of them were developed elsewhere e.g. the U.K. and the U.S.)
As for the above-mentioned Angela White we will say even less, except that if she is indeed “one of Australia’s most successful exports”, the Land Down Under needs to up its game.
Or we need to revise our definition of “successful exports”.
Here’s noted Oz export Isla Fisher:
…who is known principally for her appalling taste in husbands.
Ah yes, the old excuse:
Gabrielle Union On Why She Felt ‘Entitled’ To Cheat On Her First Husband: ‘I Was Paying All The Bills’
Now let’s play “Just Imagine” for a moment, and think of the response if a man used that as an excuse to bonk a woman not his wife.
Knives out? Calls for cancellation? Yet another example of “Male Domination”?
I have no idea who this harpy is, but no doubt she’s well entrenched in the feministical hierarchy, judging by her arrogance.
And just in passing: with an attitude like that, small wonder he was screwing other women.
So there’s this pleasant little train of thought:
Without knowing anything at all about this harpy, I’ll bet she lives in a.) NYFC, b.) Los Angeles or c.) San Franfuckingcisco — or wherever HuffPo has its HQ.
As for 2.) above, the only way she and her buddies are ever going to kill all men (they probably have a gun:harpy count of 1:jillion) is if they voluntarily get infected with AIDS — and even then, no man except liberal ponytailed girlyboys will want to poke them. Here’s our Emily — a representative sample, methinks:
Doomed to failure, like so many liberal wet dreams.
In an age when marriage is ignored in favor of “hook-ups”, “partnerships” and “friends-with-benefits”, it’s heartening to see how one couple, at least, started young and over fifty years later, are still making it work:
Devoted couple Harry and Sandra Redknapp admit they love each no less than they did after exchanging vows more than half-a-century ago.
Redknapp was a promising young footballer with West Ham United when he met apprentice hairdresser Sandra Young on a rowdy dancefloor above Stratford’s legendary Two Puddings pub in 1968.
Months later they were married, with Sandra supporting her husband as he finished his football career with defunct north American club Seattle Sounders before establishing himself as a much-loved coach and manager.
My Murkin Readers will probably be going “Harry who?” but the fact of the matter is that Harry is as famous Over There as Bill Parcells, Phil Jackson or Tom Landry ever were Over Here.
I know that to people of his generation, such loyalty, devotion and fidelity might seem nothing special, but here’s the difference: his and Sandra’s marriage has been a celebrity one, subject to all the scrutiny and limelight that only the awful British press can bring.
Stories of his devotion to Sandra are legion (some of which are contained in the above article), but it should be known that Harry would have been a juicy target for all the fame groupies (step forward, Ulrika Jonsson) for whom his notch on their much-chiseled bedposts would have been a noteworthy one.
But he never strayed, and as he’s got older, that loyalty has made Harry Redknapp all the more beloved to the people of Britain since his retirement from football management.
Well played, mate.
Yeah, this kinda makes sense:
Children should get lessons in school on how to build strong relationships to counteract ‘Disneyfied’ portrayals of love
Ask any child their favorite film, and there is quite a high chance they will name a Disney movie, like ‘Beauty and the Beast’ or ‘Aladdin’.
However, experts believe that these films are giving them the wrong idea about what a healthy relationship looks like.
In ‘Aladdin’, the hero whisks Princess Jasmine away from restrictive palace life, while ‘Cinderella’, ‘Snow White’, and ‘Sleeping Beauty’ all involve a young girl being saved by a ‘handsome prince’.
Yeah, in real life, Jasmine’s father’s security police would hunt down the couple, shoot the insolent little pup and take the now-deflowered houri back to her father’s palace where she’ll be whipped for her adultery and beheaded for bringing shame to the family name.
Let’s not even talk about the “handsome savior prince” scenario.
Me, I think that Disney shouldn’t stop at “happily ever after”, but use their characters for some real-life advice, e.g.
Dealing With Nosy Room-Mates
Workplace Sexual Harassment
Everyday Grooming Tips
Building A Relationship With Your Step-Family
Finding That Perfect Sugar Daddy
Seeing as we’re living in modern times, and given that it’s Woke Disney:
Inter-Species Relationships
Sharing The Great Outdoors
Things To Do While Waiting For Your Prince To Come
When Your Prince Finally Comes
There ya go. Coming soon [sic] to a screen near you.
