Category: Funny Stuff

“If It Means Saving Lives…”

Gummint, Mocking Furriners

Where have we heard this before?  O, Canada.  Unsurprisingly, this is Ontario (motto:  We’re more socialist than New York), where the forces of police power are rapidly becoming unlimited.

As an aside — and I admit that it’s been years since I was last in Ontario — I’m pretty sure that the above Gestapo attitudes will work in places like Toronto (a.k.a. Woke City, CN).  But Ontario is a really big state, and I would be really interested to see what happens oh, about a hundred miles north of Toronto, when the Sturmtruppen  start playing their little reindeer games.  (Warning:  link can cause extreme rage.)

Or have all Canadians become so cowed by Government?

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

What day is it again?

So to get over that gagging thing, a little Italian food humor:

Some Wop humor:

And some gender-specific stuff:

And speaking of beautiful Italian women… oh hell, where to begin?  I’ll just pick one, and don’t yell at me because I didn’t pick your favorite.

Say hello to Sabrina Ferilli:

And a more recent one:

Bellissima.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Oy vey, it’s Monday:

Just for the hell of it, I proclaim today Jew Day on this here website.  (Don’t panic;  everything has been blessed by the Deth Bin*.)

(My buddy Lev, who is an actual rabbi, tells me that this would be funny were it not so true.)  And in that same vein:

And just for the hell of it:

And one of my personal favorites:

Now get out there and make some money.  Next week:  Italians.

*I know;  shuddup.

 

 

Not Wanted

Funny Stuff

Inspired by this piece in the DM, I list things that seem insubstantial or unimportant, but under the reign of World-Emperor Kim (see above) would be banned and destroyed whenever seen in public:

  • Oddly- flavored booze, e.g. chocolate vodka and raspberry-flavored beer.  Just thinking about them makes my mouth go lemon-shaped and my stomach go into spasm.
  • Light (“lite”) beer.  The only way I’d agree to letting this shit stay around was if it were sold for ten cents a gallon.  Then everyone who drank it would get horribly drunk and die in car crashes, thus solving two problems.
  • Crocs, when worn outside the garden.  They work surprisingly well as gardening shoes, but there are limits.
  • Ditto Uggs:  excellent slippers, should not be seen in public.
  • Chewing gum.  Disgusting stuff, especially when chewed with an open mouth.
  • Nose rings.  Absolutely nobody’s appearance is enhanced by this foul facial appurtenance.
  • Car decals.  Every last one of them, no exceptions, and  especially the smug mini-billboards like “Proud Parent Of An Honor Student”.  Don’t even get me started on the “go faster” stripes, or flames.
  • “Lifted” trucks on public roads.

Note that I’ve left off the large stuff like Modernist architecture, Glocks and music produced by Simon Cowell.  They are a constant irritation to me and have often been featured on these pages, so I’m not going to belabor the point.

Other than “carpeted bathrooms”, I found most of the things in the DM  list rather inoffensive, albeit some in bad taste.  And they can take my Nicky Cage sequin pillow from my cold dead hands.

Feel free to add your favorite hates to the list.  (Just stuff, no people — we all know who you’d want to see gone, or be first on the noose.)

Membership

Funny Stuff, The Gun Thing

I’m all in favor of gun rights groups — the more, the merrier, because it stops the existing ones from getting too comfortable and cosy with the politicians, by giving us gunnies more options.  And new ones have been starting up all over the place in recent years.

So, Gentle Readers:  should I join this group?  I certainly qualify.

To mark the occasion, I’d probably get one of these:

(link embedded in the pic)

Incomprehensible Witch

Freaks & Loonies, Seen On Campus

Over at Taki’s place, Ted Dalrymple takes aim (metaphorically speaking;  he’s a Brit) at some total loony university professor:

Professor MacCormack’s book defeated me, not only sapping my will to read further but inducing a state almost of catatonia.  It certainly cured me, at least temporarily, of my obsessional desire to finish any book that I have started.  Her style made  The Critique of Pure Reason  seem as light and witty as  The Importance of Being Earnest.  She appears to think that the English plural of manifesto is manifesti rather than manifestos;  I admit that it conjured up in my mind a new Italian dish, gnocchi manifesti.
Open the book at any page and you will find passages that startle by their polysyllabic meaninglessness combined with the utmost crudity.  By chance, I opened the book to page 144 and my eye fell on the following:

The multiplicity of becoming-cunt as an assemblage reassembles the tensors upon which it expresses force and by which force is expressed upon its various planes and dimensions.

And Dalrymple notes:

I have known deteriorated schizophrenic patients to speak more sensibly and coherently than this.

No kidding.  Let’s take a look at this paragon of literacy, shall we?

…and not in drag:  

This Oz bint is, and I quote:  “a professor of continental philosophy at Anglia Ruskin University in Cambridge, England” (whatever “continental philosophy” may be).  Also, Anglia Ruskin University is not part of Cambridge University, but a separate school with campuses scattered across several towns, Cambridge being but one of them.

One wonders what John Ruskin (after whom it’s named) would think of this example of its academic excellence.